asgardmeridiem | [closed] you build your heart of plastic, get cynical and sarcastic

Entry tags:

[closed] you build your heart of plastic, get cynical and sarcastic

Who: Pyro and Connor Reilly/Angel (

daddyissues), with a cameo by Sophie (

hollowchild)
What: Catching up after a long silence, brooding over the future he's chosen for himself in Asgard, and (maaaaybe) looking for advice.
When: Evening 401, just before the event.
Where: Connor and Sophie's house.
Rating: PG-13, as ever, for Pyro's mouth.

[He's already had a few conversations about this, but not since Rogue left, and not with the one person left who really matters; in truth, he should probably be going to Bobby's right now, but the silence from his end is so rare that Pyro's kind of been stunned into respecting it. Not like he feels any more supportive of their relationship, but it exists, and it's been taken from Bobby again after having an entirely new dimension added to it here. Pyro's not even sure how the hell he'd handle Bobby right now if he were talking.

So he's taking his problems to Connor, who doesn't exactly deserve an explanation - they're Pyro's goddamn issues - but deserves a gesture, at least, to make up for the two weeks of silence. Besides, he's usually a good mixture of understanding and blunt, and he's got more inside knowledge than the near or complete strangers that Pyro's mostly talked to about this so far without having an actual vested interest.

(Maybe he just wants to see a friend he's been blocking out for too long, too. Maybe that's all. Can't that be enough?)

He still deeply resents that it's been set up as an act of apology because of how he's already treated Connor, though, so there's a lingering trace of surliness as he knocks on the door and crosses his arms over his chest. Some things never change, and Pyro will never like being called to task over his own bad behaviour.]

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[ Although he won't admit it to Pyro, Connor is more hurt than anything. It was very obvious he was being ignored with how Pyro was still all over the network... which made him go from the standard worry to 'what the hell is wrong?' to thinking it was something personal. He'd moved past that, because there was no other option, but it stung like hell and as someone who had never had friends before, he didn't know how to react.

Connor snaps the filter into place and turns the coffeemaker on, then pulls down two mugs, waiting.

(It could be enough, but only if he admitted it.)

The knock on the door is Pyro's, and it sounds sullen. As ridiculous as that sounded, Connor just knew from the single dull thud that his friend was scowling on the other side, arms crossed and chin tucked down crankily. A smile flickers across his face as he opens the door and the image in his head is confirmed. ]

Hey.

[One thing Pyro's learned about friends, first from Bobby and then from people like Connor, is that they don't let you stay at the surface. They don't let you bullshit. They just keep digging until they get to the vulnerability underneath all the anger, and he'll never find that vulnerability anything but repulsive and frightening. Especially when it's his own.

It's time, though. Not only is he seriously endangering a friendship he actually values, but the constant lashing out against his situation to people who don't quite get it isn't really helping anymore. He needs to make a real decision about how he'll continue here, and for once, he's not jumping into it with only his own determination behind him.

Because he just doesn't feel determined about much anymore. That's the problem.

He gives Connor a foul look at the smile, but it's nowhere near a glare.]

Yeah, yeah. Hey. Thanks for still talking to me. Do I have to do sorry, or can we assume that part?

[ That look just makes him grin a little wider, as he steps aside to let Pyro in. ]

Even your knock was sulky, man.

[ ...and then it fades. Connor gives a little shrug, hiding the hurt as much as he can but that's not much at all. It's harder in person. He turns away to check the coffee. ]

We can assume that part if you tell me why.

[Oh, damnit. It's worse than he thought. And with his track record, any explanation will compound the problem, but he tries as he steps inside and peels off his winter wear.]

You know how this always goes. I get pissed off, you keep at me until I talk about it instead of being violent or whatever.

[Once he's finally down to jeans and a t-shirt, he follows Connor into the kitchen and leans against the counter, staring straight ahead.]

I didn't want to talk. Not to someone who wanted anything real.

Not true, sometimes there's violence involved anyway. [ Training is just focused and controlled violence, in the end... Connor says it to try and keep the tone light but it's true. ]

What's changed, then?

[He snorts, acknowledging the attempt but not really able to join in.]

What hasn't changed since I got here? I - hit my fucking limit, that's it. No more trying to figure out Professors and Magnetos and Mystiques I barely know who don't know me from a native. No more trying to change things I know I can't because half the people won't listen and the other half won't do anything, and exactly none of them will remember any of it when they leave. Again. And again. And again.

[His voice is rising with the strain, both in pitch and volume, but he grips the countertop hard and takes a deep breath.]

I wanna be done with all of it. For now. Just forget how amazingly fucked everything is back home.

I know the feeling... it's easier when they're not here, though, as long as you keep busy.

[ All he can offer is encouragement, but Pyro will get lots of it. Connor fixes two mugs of coffee and heads for the couch (maybe someday they'll get a kitchen table.... but probably not), gesturing for Pyro to sit. Chill, buddy. ]

You said I only knew a third of it?

[He follows, taking his coffee and sipping from it before answering.]

More like half. You know they left, but not when. [Another sip, and he scowls into his cup.] Every time, I was - I don't even fucking know, trying to fix something, like any of it would matter in the end. Get back in touch with the Professor for more training, he's gone. Talk to Mystique about Magneto, try to warn her, she's gone. Actually make a real offer of truce to Rogue... you get the idea.

Just like last time. Started to feel like I belonged in the Brotherhood again and they disappeared. I know it's not targeted, but you can see why it feels that way.

I can, since I felt that way when it happened to me, too. [ A tiny head shake, and he leans back into the couch cushions. ] There's no advice, either... seems like it's just luck.

You were fucked up enough about things back home to get wasted awhile ago. How'd you get over it?

[He's actually asking for advice now, something he almost never does. And he knows how rare it is, that Connor will have seen him just challenge advice he disagrees with and challenge more rather than come out and directly ask for help, so he can't quite look up from his coffee. He's given up just how vulnerable he is right now.]

...I focused on here instead of home.

There's always going to be something you can't control. From your species and who your parents are to things that maybe someone can control but you can't. Back home you can play with fire, but you can't control if it rains. It's hard to accept that when the weather ruins your day, but you still do... it took me almost a year here to accept that I can't control who comes and goes, or whether they'll remember. It's not my fault when people leave, and every time I make a connection to someone it's a risk, including people from home.

You have to decide if it's worth taking that risk. I think it is in the long run, but I don't talk about home anymore besides what's necessary. They won't remember, I won't remember, and nothing will change. [ He sips his coffee, staring at the forest-scape mural on the far wall of the living room, painted by a friend who's since left Asgard. ] So I focus on here. On things that I can actually have some impact on, like fighting the war and helping people train and the friends right in front of me... including you, even if you are a jerk.

And it works? Even with people here, you can keep it separate?

[He fires Connor a foul look at the end of his speech.]

C'mon. I ignore you for two weeks and the best you can do is "jerk?"

For the most part. It's not easy, especially when they ask me questions, but it's doable. A lot like how I dealt with being human all of a sudden, I kept busy and trained with what I had instead of dwelling on what I didn't. After people left and came back without remembering... I'm just focusing on what I have again.

[ He gives a little shrug ] You called eventually.

Look, I know it's important to you that your mentor be a mutant and understand exactly what you're going through. But not every piece in life is going to fit together perfectly. You don't have to hold out for the Professor to come back to work on your control. The man who taught me to track as a vampire was human and he still knew what he was talking about.

[He doesn't fire back at that right away, which is another remarkable step - a long time actually passes in silence, with Pyro sipping at his coffee and glancing between Connor and the wall in front of him. At last, his gaze falls on Connor more steadily.]

I'm dating a witch, aren't I? I know about that. I deal with humans. I'm friends with humans. I - loved a human. [And part of him always will, though it doesn't diminish what he has with Euri.] That doesn't mean they can understand any of it, even if they've been hunted or hated or fucked around with like us. They don't know our situation.

[He scrubs a hand over his face.] It's all been messed up since that goddamn apple. I wish I'd never seen any of it.

[ That's a huge step; Connor was braced to be ripped a new one, and he's surprised but really proud when Pyro's response is calm and articulate. And he agrees with all of it, which is even more impressive. ]

We're not meant to know our futures.

Anyway, you're right. No one is going to completely understand, but they can still help even if their experience is different. Someone else here must have a destructive ability they had to fight to control... I just don't think you should forget about training just because the Professor left. Focus on what you can do here.

There's still things I can't control, though. If a new Professor or Magneto comes and Bobby goes to them about me, they won't stay away. And one could finally show up that knows me. Magneto knows being loved and hated, but I have a feeling he won't take being ignored all that well, not by someone who signed up to be his minion.

[He's feeling calmer already, even if every point they solve brings up three more that need the same treatment. His posture is relaxing, his expression more thoughtful than strained.]

I can still deal with my mutation, you're not wrong about that. My problem now's mostly how to keep away from mutants who show up here, because I'm done fucking around with loyalty games that mean nothing when we all get home.

You might have to just ask him to keep quiet if they show up and don't already know you. People from my world were willing to cover for me with others. If a Magneto who knows you shows up... maybe you could get some closure, who knows?

[ His next question is asked very carefully: ] Have you talked to Bobby since they left?

Not much. Not at all since Rogue's been gone.

[His expression at that says not to push it. He's not angry, exactly, but he's feeling the strain of being shut out as well, or at least the question of why this silence is stretching out so long.]

[ Connor wasn't planning to push it, just nods. ]

Well, I'm sure he'll agree to it.

[ Another problem down, he rolls his shoulders. ] Sophie will be back soon, why don't you stay for dinner?

No reason not to. He can be self-righteous as hell, but if I say I want nothing to do with Magneto, he's not objecting.

[He arches his eyebrows at the mention of Sophie.]

Last time she saw me, I was pretty hell-bent on murdering Isaac. You sure that's gonna be okay?

[ Connor actually laughs, surprised that Pyro would be worried about that when he was the one to help him clean the place up after... he... killed her. ]

She's seen worse.

{Well, yeah, but you can forgive someone for killing you. It's your place. Trying to kill a friend's a blurrier area.]

Alright, I'm taking your word on it. Any attacks - hell, any awkward questions and you take the blame.

[ In this case it would probably be less forgiving Pyro for attacking a friend and more trusting Connor's judgment again... but details, details. ]

You can lean over and stab me with your fork.

Don't make me take you up on that.

[He finishes off his coffee, setting the mug down before glancing over at Connor again.]

Look - I had to figure a lot of this shit out for myself. It went against everything I've been doing - everything that's kept me going since I got here. I would've just been puking pissed off nothing at you if I talked to you any sooner.

[And there's the real apology, even if it sounds more like defensive excuses - Connor knows better.]

[ Connor sets his mug down veeeery slowly, the expression on his face a familiar one... it's his "I'm trying to keep serious but can barely hide the grin" look. ]

Uh oh.

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