It was difficult to focus on what Sam was more angry about -- the sheer hypocrisy in Dean's statement or the knowledge that Dean had been walking around on eggshells since he got here to avoid a psychotic break. And then, just as quickly as the anger washed over him, it was gone, replaced by a sickened heaviness that entirely encompassed any logical thought process he might've been able to summon. And by the time Sam's mind caught up to him, Dean was already out the door and gone.
Part of Sam wanted to follow, to assure Dean that he was fine, that he wasn't going to suffer some kind of psychotic break, but what would be the point? It would just be a lie. It was inevitable -- Sam knew it, deep in his heart, that there was no curing this. There was no solving it. There was just... managing. And Sam had managed, pretty well, in the city, since Dean arrived. But now Dean was furious with him and gone, probably back to Freya or somewhere else to stay, and Sam was alone.
Alone was a pretty dangerous thing to be. But Sam fought down the childish urge to go find Dean and apologize, because fuck you too, that's why. Sam was the liar, the betrayer, the bad guy, the crazy one, then fine -- whatever. And Sam knew -- he knew -- this Dean was younger, this Dean was still coping with Sam's decision to sacrifice himself, he was getting over Ruby, he had just seen Sam dive into the Cage, but despite all of that reasoning, Sam didn't give a flying fuck.
If Dean wanted to force Sam to be the bad guy when Sam knew damn well Dean would've done the same thing, then fine. Whatever. Sam could be the bad guy. And he could suck up his inevitable insanity by himself, because that was probably what he was going to have to do in his own timeline anyway.
And so, instead of following, Sam simply slammed the door shut. For added insult to massive injury, he locked it. And Sam took his seat back in his chair with a massive sigh, fingers interlocking together into his lap.
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Part of Sam wanted to follow, to assure Dean that he was fine, that he wasn't going to suffer some kind of psychotic break, but what would be the point? It would just be a lie. It was inevitable -- Sam knew it, deep in his heart, that there was no curing this. There was no solving it. There was just... managing. And Sam had managed, pretty well, in the city, since Dean arrived. But now Dean was furious with him and gone, probably back to Freya or somewhere else to stay, and Sam was alone.
Alone was a pretty dangerous thing to be. But Sam fought down the childish urge to go find Dean and apologize, because fuck you too, that's why. Sam was the liar, the betrayer, the bad guy, the crazy one, then fine -- whatever. And Sam knew -- he knew -- this Dean was younger, this Dean was still coping with Sam's decision to sacrifice himself, he was getting over Ruby, he had just seen Sam dive into the Cage, but despite all of that reasoning, Sam didn't give a flying fuck.
If Dean wanted to force Sam to be the bad guy when Sam knew damn well Dean would've done the same thing, then fine. Whatever. Sam could be the bad guy. And he could suck up his inevitable insanity by himself, because that was probably what he was going to have to do in his own timeline anyway.
And so, instead of following, Sam simply slammed the door shut. For added insult to massive injury, he locked it. And Sam took his seat back in his chair with a massive sigh, fingers interlocking together into his lap.
So much for sleeping.