"He used to drop me off at this demented children's play place to go pick up chicks when I was younger. And when I say demented, I mean it. It was creepy. Everyone is permanently happy and there are -- "

Sam paused for a moment to carefully contemplate how cool it would be to finish that statement with 'clowns everywhere'.

He decided against sharing that piece of information.

" -- just... really grotesque animatronic characters everywhere, I'd rather take on demons than step foot in that place again," Sam muttered to himself as he reached for a pot holder, "so, yeah. Definite lady killer. He sacrificed me to the gods of bad parenting at an early age for some phone numbers."