You can have one kidney, but only one. And no shady bathtubs full of ice. Legit transplant surgeons. I've read the stories and I don't want to end up as some black market organ fridge. But, we'll set up a contract and we can get my dad to witness it. Maybe do some sort of object exchange so that we can like, show that we clearly belong to each other.

[Gee, that didn't sound suspiciously like, oh, I don't know, getting married?]