[closed] i know you're fine, but what do i do?

[whatagoodgirl]

Who: Roxas and Nakama
What: Reuniting after her death.
When: Day 129, changing over to the morning of 130
Where: A safehouse in Loki
Rating: PG to be safe. Just lots of hugging and crying, I imagine.


[By the time she hits Loki's borders, she's running as fast as she can, her large lantern swinging dangerously at her side. She's had to dodge a lot of Taken, since she awoke without a weapon, but she's made it there safely. The first thing she does when she reaches the safehouse is find a bathroom and try to wash some of the blood out of her clothes, but there's no getting rid of the ragged hole through the center of her shirt, nor the shredded fabric on the back. It won't be easy for him to see, but she'll have to trust in his strength right now. She needs to see him.

She runs past people huddled in groups, talking in low voices, and lets her own voice ring out above them.]

Roxas? Roxas, where are you?

Comments

[faints]

[ He's more than a little worse for wear--he was outside too when she'd contacted him, and the trip back to Loki's safe house involved more than a little evasion when it came to certain roads. There just seemed to be so many more of them than the night before...

But Nakama said she'd be there so that where he headed.

He arrived first and has been searching the floor for her ever since, so when he hears his name being called and looks up his stomach flops and his heart feels like it's stopped. ]

Nakama...? Nakama--Nakama! [ Hope you don't mind him breaking into a run and throwing his arms around you honey ): because that's what he's doing ]

[whatagoodgirl]

[She catches him with a little oof, stumbling back a step or two but quickly returning the hug once she's got her breath back. Her face burrows into his neck, breathing quick and shallow, and she just holds him like she's never going to let go. Regret and guilt wash over her - he shouldn't have been there, he shouldn't have seen that - but for now, she just focusses on the warmth of him in her arms.]

[faints]

[ He clings to her like a lifeline the moment he's able to, hands trembling and head leaning against hers when he feels the weight on his shoulder. He has the option to look over her shoulder, but all he does is squeeze his eyes shut tight and shake, trying not to hiccup too fervently as wet streaks stain his face ]

[whatagoodgirl]

I'm so sorry, Roxas... [She's trying desperately not to cry, but his tears seem determined to coax out her own.] So, so sorry...

[faints]

It's not your fault--don't say that, just...don't. [ She can't blame herself for what happened--she just can't. There's no way it could be hers, she did nothing to deserve it. She's always so kind and thoughtful and selfish and honest. She didn't deserve it. ]

[whatagoodgirl]

But no one should've had to see that... I made so many people upset and worried, and tons of people put themselves in danger to come out and look for me... you put yourself in danger. And I wanted to protect you.

[faints]

I'd rather you be safe than worrying about me--it's not...just, don't. [ Don't be so selfless, don't try to act like it's nothing; revival or not he watched her die, watched a real human being die for the first time in his life. ]

Just don't go out again, please.

[whatagoodgirl]

[Her face darkens under the veil of his hair, and she realizes that they're going to have a very difficult conversation to face tomorrow. For now, though, she just lifts her head and pulls away a little, enough to kiss him softly.]

Will you sleep beside me here tonight? [Even freshly revived, she looks exhausted.] I know there's a lot of people around, and it might be embarrassing for you. But I just...

[Oh damnit, she tried to make this request so maturely, and now she's starting to blush.] ... I don't think I can sleep without feeling you next to me tonight.

[faints]

[ Normally, the request would prompt some embarrassment; some hesitance or a flustered response. But right now, after everything that's happened? Roxas doesn't even have the capacity, doesn't even have the will to leave her side as he nods quickly against him, sniffing and clutching her tighter. Anything to keep her close, to know she's safe. ]

[whatagoodgirl]

Th - thank you. [She's pulled against him again, so he doesn't get the chance to see her startled expression. Just like that, he agrees? No sputtering or blushing? That's the moment she realizes just how upsetting this was for him, and she's kind of overwhelmed. It's a new idea to her, the idea that her loss would be devastating to anyone but her maybe her mom; obviously there were people crying on her video feed, but it also involved horrendous amounts of blood and a half-dead young girl. This is something else, and it scares her even as it makes her feel warm and happy inside.]

I saw a couple of people with bedding, hopefully there'll be enough for us. I think we'll be sleeping on the floor, but I've done that before. Are you hungry first? We can see if they have any food...

[She's just babbling, trying to move the topic away from her death somehow.]

[faints]

[ Roxas doesn't manage to find his voice but he at least murmurs a sound of negative confirmation--his stomach feels like it's become rock hard. There's no way he wants to put anything in it while it's like that. He wants to say "I'm fine" or "I'm okay" but he knows those words wouldn't come to him if this whole thing depended on it.

He just settles for sniffing again and trying to at least quiet himself, because he's sure he's making a scene with all this blubbering of his. ]

[whatagoodgirl]

[She hears that sniffle and pulls away again to look him in the eyes. Her hands start at his spiky bangs, smoothing them off his forehad and then sliding gentle fingers down his cheeks, his jawline, finally cupping his face tenderly.]

I'm here, Roxas. [Seriously, but softly.] I'm here.

[faints]

I'm so sorry... Nakama, I...

[whatagoodgirl]

If I'm not allowed to apologise, then neither are you. You stayed there with me in a really scary situation, and that's all that could really be done at the time. You were a rock for me, Roxas, and I really appreciate it.

[faints]

I...was? [ But he hadn't done anything but hold her hand and beg for her to stay. In fact it's barely been two hours since it all happened, and this is all still feeling raw and surreal. He hasn't even had time to digest that she was gone let alone that she's back. ]

[whatagoodgirl]

I've watched friends die. I know how scary it is. If they'd been slower, more painful deaths... I don't know if I could've stayed there and waited until the end like you did. You were really strong.

[faints]

I don't...feel like it. [ And there his voice cracks a little and he winds up squeezing her hand a bit. Gotta swallow that lump in his throat ): ]

[whatagoodgirl]

Well, you'll have to take my word for it, then. [She squeezes back, hitching up a smile for him.] Come on, why don't we see if we can find some bedding? I think we're both too tired to talk about this right now.

[faints]

[ A nod is the best he can manage even if he's trying to look like he hasn't just been devastated by a horrific event and it's only sort of half-working. There's a shadow and distance to his gaze as he gives her hand another squeeze. Sleep will probably do him a lot of good at this point ]

[whatagoodgirl]

[That look in his eyes makes her heart feel like it's going to shatter. I did this, she thinks, but she doesn't dare say it aloud. They've agreed that they're past blame for now, and she won't start that up again.

She leads him slowly through the crowds, trying not to look at people nursing wounds or crying quietly. Who did they see die, she thinks? What's their tragedy? How did she ever think this place was bad before?

Eventually, she discovers the stockpile of supplies and manages to unearth a blanket and two pillows. It physically hurts to let go of Roxas's hand, but she needs both arms to carry them.]

[faints]

[ She's not the only one reluctant to let go--for just a half-second Roxas keeps his grip. But then the moment passes and he hovers close at her side, unwilling to be farther from her than he has to ]

[whatagoodgirl]

[After a pause, she picks up another blanket and hauls the whole thing to a relatively empty patch of floor away from any windows. She lays out the first blanket so that no one will get rug burnt if they roll over, then sets down the pillows at the top and drapes the second blanket over the whole thing.

There. a bed for the night.

She stands there awkwardly for a minute, trying to find a way to smoothe this over even though Roxas isn't acting embarrassed at all. She's the one who's embarrassed this time, not sure how to - start this whole sleeping beside one another thing.]

Could - you lie down first?

[faints]

[ Roxas nods wordlessly; he just doesn't have it in him after everything to get flustered like she is even if he knows he ought to be. But he's still got tiny smudges of her blood on his clothes and wristbands--everything's still much, much too fresh. He barely even thinks to slip off his shoes before he pulls back the covers and sort of sits down, looking up at her.

It's still so hard to take in: she's here, she's alive. ]

[whatagoodgirl]

[She climbs in beside him, sitting up as well for a moment before cautiously stretching out on her back. She's just staring up at the ceiling, trying to figure out how she should feel about this, her body stiff and still.]

[faints]

[ If she'll let him Roxas is going to take her hand again even if he hasn't laid down yet ): he just...don't want to be far from her, right now ]

[whatagoodgirl]

[She offers up her hand glady, then looks up at him curiously.]

It's okay to lie down, Roxas. I don't care how many people are here, I don't care about any of it. I just want to be with you right now.

[faints]

[ "That wasn't it," is what he wants to say...but he doesn't have it in him to carry out a conversation right now so he just nods and sinks down, lips pressed together as he stares at their joined hands pensively ): there's a lot he's never had any experience with when it comes to emotions and this is just throwing him for a wringer. It's never felt this painful before--even if it's somehow...familiar, too. ]

[whatagoodgirl]

[Once he's lying down and she can feel his warmth beside her, something snaps - she rolls onto her side and coils around him, arm wrapped around his waist and head resting on his shoulder. She doesn't care if he holds her or not, but she needs to hold onto him. She needs more than just a hand in a hand right now.

Her body shakes a little, but she hides her face in the hopes of concealing the fact that she's crying. She's just so relieved that she got to stay - that this can still happen.]

[faints]

[ It's that action that finally jars Roxas enough to make him blink in muted surprise, because this is...closer than he's ever been to anyone else. Like this. He can feel how warm she is and the gentle thrum of her heartbeat against his shoulder--and then her subtle trembling. It makes his throat feel tight and his own eyes get wet again, but very quickly he rolls onto his side facing her and holds her close. ]

[whatagoodgirl]

[She lets out a long, shuddering breath when he moves and clings to her. It feels like this should be a more important moment, a real landmark in her life, but there's so much darkness whirling around it that she can't feel the gravity of something as simple as holding and being held by her boyfriend. They're both scared, overwhelmed, just two tiny people caught up in something too huge to fathom. Tickmarks on the relationship checklist can come much, much, later.]

Roxas... I'm happy. I know it sounds weird, but I am. I thought I might not... [Her voice catches, and she lets that sentence hang.] ... I'm so happy to be with you right now.

[faints]

...'e too.

[ It's quiet and his voice a little scratchy, but it's the best he can manage. A nod just won't cut it. Even if his voice wavers and he can't get it above a whisper, it's his best ): ]

[whatagoodgirl]

[She lifts her head and kisses him softly, but can't quite pull away when the kiss is done - foreheads pressed together, she breathes shakily against his mouth, fingers curling tightly in the back of his shirt.]