the water's wide, I cannot get over

[tyrian]

Who: Feferi AND YOU
What: Feferi tries to get a handle on having been Taken and then dying. Also a giant tentacle monster, because Gl'bgolyb.
When: Day 132
Where: Baldr district, lake
Rating: probably nothing above PG?

[Feferi is missing time, and that concerns her--she didn't wake up to being handed her bracelet as if she'd lost it, she'd woken up as if she'd died. And, with the last thing she could clearly remember being coming face to tentacles with Gl'bgolyb covered in a film of darkness, maybe she had.

Her lusus seems to be alright, now, a tentacle wrapped around Feferi for comfort even as Feferi sits on the bank of the lake, and she rests against it as she so often did when she was small. It wasn't so much the idea of dying that unsettled her as it was the blankness in her memory; she didn't think she had spent the entire time dead. And there were hazy, half-remembered bits and pieces of being something else--

That was probably the worst part. She hugs Gl'bgolyb's extended tentacle like a human child might a teddy bear.]

Comments

[yukionna]

[Guess who was Lost during the entire event and has no clue what's going on. Yup.

Taking a walk and suddenly...Cthulhuhugs. ]

...Feferi? Is something...bothering you?

[tyrian]

[Feferi shifts to look at Rukia. She's smiling, but it lacks her usual boundless levels of enthusiasm.]

Things were just a little confusing for--[How much time is she missing? She realizes, with a bit of alarm, she doesn't know.] A little while. With all the darkness.

[yukionna]

Darkness? [....come to think of it, everyone did seem a little upset. She didn't know why, though. And didn't even realized a whole handful of days had passed.]

[tyrian]

Did you miss it? It got really dark and some of the people and things here turned into monsters.

[She strains to remember past her blank, but comes up empty.]

It's over now, I think.

[yukionna]

[She blinks once, twice, and a hard, icy feeling forms in her gut. Was she really...missing? Well, that was an issue, but it would be rather rude to be concerned about it while Feferi here was clearly in her own kind of pain.]

I...see. Well, everything's alright...?

[tyrian]

Everything's back now. [She strokes Gl'bgolyb's tentacle as she says that--she does remember her lusus having been transformed into something awful and dangerous even to her, but it seems she's back to normal now.]

I guess I sort of forgot this place is at war. Funny, huh? I knew it, but I didn't really know it.

[whatagoodgirl]

[This girl looks tired. Very tired. She's walking a bit unsteadily, and there are big, dark bags under her eyes. But she's come to find comfort in the lake, the way she always does when she's hurting badly.

But this time, it seems like someone's gotten the jump on her. It's a troll she hasn't seen before, which gets her attention, and... there's something coming out of the lake, but she ignores that for now. The girl looks like she feels - small and lost.]

It feels strange seeing daylight again, doesn't it? [She offers a weak, lifeless smile.]

[tyrian]

[Feferi looks over at the girl and decides she looks like she needs a nap in an especially comfortable pile right now, but there isn't anything she can offer except the grass.]

Yeah. [She looks up at the sky, to the clouds--she's smiling, but she's not especially exuberant.] I got used to it here. Being up during the day, I mean! I didn't think it would be so weird to have everything dark.

[whatagoodgirl]

Oh, right, you couldn't go out during the daytime on Alternia, could you? [Either Aradia or Tavros told her that.]

[She sits on the grass nearby, stretching her legs out in front of her and joining the troll girl's gaze.] It was hard on everyone, I think. Still, it's difficult to forget your own pain.

[tyrian]

The sunlight was too dangerous.

[It's not here, though, and it was kind of exciting to go out in the day to begin with, even if she'd often grow tired and have to take a nap in the middle of the day anyway.]

I still have to check up on some of my friends, but--there's a lot to think about, I guess.

[She doesn't want to know if they found her twisted and attacking them, or if they killed her. But maybe she never saw them. She doesn't know, either way, and she dislikes the uncertainty.]

[whatagoodgirl]

That was the first thing I did this morning, just go through the bracelet and check all the names. I still have to talk to them, though... there's no saying what they've been through.

[tyrian]

That's the scary part, you know? If I knew everything was, or was going to be okay, it would be easy!

[She looks back down at the lake; Gl'bgolyb can't whisper that certainty to her anymore. She still has it, she can feel it--but she's feeling a bit shaky at the moment.]

[whatagoodgirl]

I don't think you can ever really do that. All you can do is hope for the best and prepare yourself for the worst. [And sometimes the worst is so beyond your imagination that even that doesn't help.]

[tyrian]

[Feferi hugs Gl'bgolyb again, taking a deep breath before she smiles, a little.]

I think things will be okay. I'm sure of it. This place is just a little different from what I expected, that's all.

[whatagoodgirl]

I think it takes everyone by surprise. There are long periods of peace, with pranks that seem pretty much harmless at first... and then the reality sets in in some horrifying way. I've been here since the beginning, so I remember when everyone thought it was peaceful and harmless.

[tyrian]

I've been here since the beginning, so I guess it's my own fault I'm so surprised. At home things were bad, but not in the same way they're bad here. Like a saltwater fish trying to swim into fresh water.

But I think I'll be more ready from now on.

[biifurcatiion]

[Sollux is worst than useless, now, his brain rotted and empty and pained, his abilities at best good at amplifying nothing for himself, only for somebody else. He's a skinny nerd and he probably can't even throw a punch, and he hates himself for taking so long to get to her, struggling, useless, not knowing what had happened to her.

For her, he'll even come splashing out into the lake, no matter the presence of something that once killed him, trying to get as close as possible.]

Feferi?

[tyrian]

[Feferi moves out to meet Sollux, not wanting him to end up drowning himself in his hurry to get to her and taking some measure of relief that he's shown up. Of course he would, she knew that, but it's nice when it happens anyway.

She tries to smile at him, and does, but it lacks its usual ferocious enthusiasm.]

Sollux. Are you okay?

[biifurcatiion]

[For once he's not worried about drowning even though he's up to his knees, at least, in shallow water, which is surely enough to die in. It's less important than the look on her face, and how he feels like he's failed her yet again, what did she ever want with a loser like him who couldn't even at least be there when something happened?]

What happened to you?

[His hands pat at her shoulders, her arms, her face, gently, searching for injuries or wounds or something, some indication of what's going on and why she looks that way.]

[tyrian]

It's okay now. [Feferi doesn't want to worry him, at least not more than he's obviously already worried--and probably beating himself up about it, because this is Sollux after all.] Things got a little confusing for a few days but everything's back to normal now.

[biifurcatiion]

[Surprisingly, this is not at all reassuring to Sollux.]

You are going to have to be way more thpecific than that.

[tyrian]

Well--[Feferi hesitates; she wouldn't feel right lying, but she wouldn't feel right upsetting Sollux, either. Of course, he's already upset. She checks him over carefully for injuries, though she tries not to look as if she's doing so--if she was completely out of it while he got himself hurt she'd be so angry at herself.]

There are parts I can't remember, so I'm not sure what happened. But I'm okay now!

[biifurcatiion]

[Sollux is already beyond upset. He'd be sparking, if he could, blue and red waves of nervous energy, and he finally just gives up and pulls her right up against his chest, hands patting over her shoulders, her back as he tries instinctively to protect her too late.]

FF oh my god thay you don't need me to tell you why that ith inthanely beyond NOT OK. [He kisses the top of her head, her horn, just reassuring himself that she is, in fact, just fine. Physically.]

[tyrian]

[Feferi tries to keep her smile on, still making some sort of attempt at acting like her usual self. Still, Sollux is right--she can't remember what happened and that probably means that she was like Gl'bgolyb for at least a little while. She's not sure if she hurt anyone or if anyone killed her or-- Her expression slips into worry.]

You stayed inside, right? [She clings to him now; if he saw her when she was like that she's not sure she could forgive herself.]

[biifurcatiion]

[Sollux might roll his eyes if her clinging didn't distress him and set off every single warning bell in his head. When Feferi gets upset, something really shitty has to have gone down. But what can he tell her?]

No but don't worry, nothing happened to me. I went looking for you and then I went to help out Jade and I went back and thtayed there. [He combs his fingers through her hair with one hand, the other pressing her tight to his chest, nosing through her hair up against her horns and trying to reassure her that he's here, he'll take care of it, if he can.]