[closed] all good things come to an end.

[whatagoodgirl]

Who: Nakama and Roxas
What: Breakin' up is hard to do ;;
When: Day 145
Where: Gefion Park, at the lake.
Rating: G, maybe PG for drowning the park in tears.


[Nakama literally has no idea what's coming for her. She's smiling to herself, wondering what wonderful thing Roxas might have in store that it brought them back to such a key place in their friendship. Probably more romantic than skateboarding, anyway. Good thing she got all those cuts and scrapes healed in time.

She kicks her feet off the edge of the dock, squinting up into the sun and feeling very much like a thirteen year old girl. These moments are rare, and they're usually not positive, but right now she loves the giddy shivering in her stomach that she's sure adults must grow out of. What's about to happen?]

Comments

[faints]

[ Unfortunately Roxas is...more or less the exact opposite. There's been so much going on and so much happening in the last few weeks that his own emotions (real or not) have been in turmoil. Nakama's death, Access' attack, his own demise... It's all sort of piled up, but the one thing he knows is that he isn't...really handling any of it that well. He hasn't been spending any time with anyone--even her. And she's the one he's supposed to spend the most time with, right?

he wasn't being fair to her. So...maybe this is for the best, he thinks, sitting on the edge of the dock and staring into the water pensively. She'll be better off...right? ]

[whatagoodgirl]

Roxas... [She turns to look at him, frowning deeply and resting a hand over his.] What's going on? Why did you call me here?

[He's been... wrong ever since he arrived, and her blood is starting to run cold. This isn't a romatic evening. This is something else entirely, and as much as she's dreading what it might be, she has to know.]

[faints]

Oh--um, hey.... [ Gosh was he really that lost in thought that he didn't even hear her approach? His stomach twists a bit with guilt. he really is terrible at this. ]

I wanted to talk.

[whatagoodgirl]

I know, but you look so...

[Guilty. That really is the only way to describe his expression. Oh no, oh please, no...]

... just say it, please. Whatever it is.

[faints]

... [ part of him doesn't want to--part of him just wants to keep his mouth shut like he's been doing and try to act like things are fine. But that's...something someone without a Heart or someone selfish would do. So he just nods slowly instead. ]

I think...maybe Namine was right. About me.

[whatagoodgirl]

[Her spine goes ramrod-straight to keep from slumping over, and she swallows heavily before speaking, eyes fixed straight ahead.]

Go on.

[faints]

You deserve someone better than me. Whether I have a Heart or not, I... [ he trails off and looks hard into the water ]

I'm not good enough.

[whatagoodgirl]

But... but I think you are. [Try as she might to stay strong, her voice starts to quiver a little.] You've had a hard time lately, but so has everyone! We'll - we'll both be better soon, I know we will.

[Even as she pleads pathetically, she gets the feeling that it's useless. He sounds like he's made up his mind, and it's over. Suddenly, she can understand why they call it heartbreak - she can actually feel the pain of each shard inside her chest.]

[faints]

But I don't think I am, and I just--I saw you... [ Die, and that was more than a little shattering for him. Every time he's near her he feels unsure and uneasy, and it's not fair to her to stay around when he can't even sort out himself. he'll just do what Namine warned him about--hurting her. ]

I'll just wind up making you unhappy.

[whatagoodgirl]

[Die, yes, that word hangs so heavy on the air that she swears she actually hears him say it. That's what has changed everything, just as she feared, and there's nothing she can do to change it.

Suddenly, she's filled with a surge of anger.]

I'm already dead. You know that, you knew that when I was dying. Why should that -

[But it drains away just as quickly, and she's left with a solid lump in her throat and tears in her eyes.]

I - I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just - I don't know what to do. I just want to make things better.

[faints]

[ he still flinches a bit, still looks away in shame. He's scared of the new feelings witnessing that event brought on, and scared of making Namine's prediction come true. ]

I...don't think I can do this Nakama. I'm sorry.

[whatagoodgirl]

[She crumples, arms around her waist and face resting on her knees. So just like that, it's over. The best thing that ever happened to her, and this - this damn war ruined it. Like war has ruined everything in her life.]

Okay. [Her voice is small, almost a whisper, in an effort to keep tears back.] Okay, I - I promised. I promised that if anything changed, I'd accept it. I won't go back on that.

[faints]

I'm really sorry Nakama... I... [ What does he even say? Just looking at her makes him feel horrendously guilty. But it would be best like this, right? Not to leave her in limbo while he isn't even sure what he wants anymore. ]

[whatagoodgirl]

I promised. [She repeats it more firmly, sitting up to face him - there are still tears standing out in her eyes, unshed, but she appears determined not to cross that line and cry.] If this is right for you, then I won't get in the way. I won't beg you or try to talk you out of it. What's most important is that you're able to be happy again.

[faints]

[ he meets her gaze but he still feels awful--moreso when he sees her expression. ]

I'm sorry... I'm sorry.

[whatagoodgirl]

Roxas, stop it. You haven't done anything wrong. [She speaks more gently than the words suggest, just trying to snap him out of this apologising block before he makes her break down.] Girls my age get broken up with all the time, and it's all over the school before long that there's been a breakup, but they still show up the next day and laugh with their friends. I've seen them. I'll...

[Her throat closes right up for a moment, and she lets out a choked sound that's obviously a stifled sob. But still, she doesn't cry.]

... I'll be fine.

[faints]

[ It offers some comfort, but admittedly not much--not when she makes that noise ]

We...still get to talk to each other right?

[whatagoodgirl]

I - I said friends first, right? Even if you changed, even if you became someone else and didn't want me, I said we'd be friends first.

[This is exactly what Jr. told her not to do - don't subsume your feelings for the sake of someone else's. He'd want her to scream and cry, to say that it's unfair, that she's not willing to let go yet. But in some ways, for some people, it seems that she hasn't changed at all.]

I won't go back on that.

[faints]

So...we'll still be...? [ That was one of the things he'd worried about--the thought of not being able to see or talk to her after all of this was almost deterrent enough not to bring it up to begin with. But what looks like a great weight has been lifted from his brow as he looks at her ]

[whatagoodgirl]

[Seeing him almost look like his old self brings the tears even closer to the surface, and she's half a second away from saying 'See? You can still be happy.' But it's breaking up with her that's made him happy, isn't it?]

Roxas, tell me the truth. Is that the real reason you wanted to break up with me?

[faints]

...H, huh? What do you mean...?

[whatagoodgirl]

Well, you keep saying it's because of you, but if it's because of me...

[Here come her insecurities, the thoughts that kept bubbling to the surface whenever they were apart. All the reasons it couldn't be real.]

... if it's because I'm not pretty, or too bossy, or just not fun enough because I'm so serious... I want to know, okay? Please don't lie to make things easier on me.

[faints]

Wh--no! That's not it at all... It's not you Nakama, honest.

[whatagoodgirl]

Are you sure? If I was a bad girlfriend... and I know I'm not... not very...

[Oh God, she's really choking up now. She quickly turns away, staring up into the sky and blinking rapidly. She can't do this now.]

[faints]

Don't say that...Nakama, it's really not you! You're a great person. I really like hanging out with you, it's...me. I'm the problem.

[whatagoodgirl]

I don't think you're a problem. [Just a whisper, barely audible.] I think you're... kind, and fun, and sweet. You're everything I would've wanted in a boyfriend.

[She looks back at him, and she's finally crying.]

I'll miss this, Roxas...

[faints]

Nakama... [ He feels his own throat get tight and his gut twist--because he feels the same. He wants to hold her, to take her hand in his but he stays where he is and just looks...remorseful.

[whatagoodgirl]

You were - a good boyfriend -

[And of course, not far behind the tears are the sobs, breaking up her words even as she tries to swallow them down and stifle them.]

You - you didn't make any mistakes and you didn't - hurt me, and - I'm glad my first boyfriend was you. Th-Thank you. [She scrubs her face with her hands and comes up smiling, even though tears are still pouring down her cheeks.]

[faints]

[ That almost sets him off too--he can feel the lump in his throat he's been fighting to keep down start to come up again, and he just nods mutely. He wnats to thank her too but he doesn't trust his voice just yet. ]

[whatagoodgirl]

I, um... [She gulps loudly, wiping her face again.] I'd like to go home now, if that's alright? Did - did you have anything else to say?

[faints]

I....n-no. That was it, I....you can go. I'm sorry.

[whatagoodgirl]

[She doesn't respond to the apology, just stands up and gives him a full, formal bow. Her shoulders are squared as she walks away, but a little too soon, just before she's out of his line of sight, she starts to sprint like the hounds of hell are after her. She has no idea where she's going, but she just has to get away from this park with all of its memories and ghostly laughter echoing through her mind.]