asgardmeridiem | Even when you think you're right.....

Entry tags:

gale hawthorne,
rue

Even when you think you're right.....

Who: Gale Hawthorne/Open
What: Walking the streets, trying to clear his head.
When: March 28, 2013
Where: Any point in Asgard you would like
Rating: Hm, PG;13, for language, maybe some darker topics, nothing too terrible.

It was not as if they had not fought at home, thing being, so far in Asgard it had been good, really good and Gale had perhaps let himself relax too much, Panem, the reality of life had come back and his choices again seemed to be lining up to ruin any sort of footing he might find.

Yet, ever the rebel he can not accept that, so he fights back, his words come out wrong, trying to say one thing, they jumble, it just becomes a mess every time and then they fight....

He doesn't want to fight with her, it's why he is here, why he is walking, if he is there, in the house she will be there, she will come home, they will see each other.

The hurt in her eyes...

Gale doesn't want to see it, he was not trying to betray her, he did not want to hurt her with something she could not fix.

Now, all he knew to do to stop it, to stop them from exploding time and time again was to go silent, to pull into himself and survive...

It always came to that.

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I don't hear anyone coming. Not before they get there. I'm crying to hard, too loudly. My stomach hurts from the sobs. The weight of what has happened bears down on me, the weight of my decision, and what it means if Peeta ever returns here... What could happen to him then? What might he be like? He wouldn't be the Peeta that I know. My Peeta. The boy with the bread. The dandelion in spring. He may not be anymore. He may never be again.

When I'm calm again, I hear a rustling. My head snaps downward to look, but the leaves block my view. I sniff, compose myself, and steel myself. "... Who's there?"

He froze, every inch of him was like stone when he heard her voice he heard the pain in it, Gale swallowed, it was hard to even think of what to say, should he keep walking? More importantly, could he? Hearing the tears there, the small signs that she had been crying.

He had made her cry...

A part of him loathes himself for this, his hands ball into fist. Words escape him a moment longer, he does not take a step, barely takes a breath..

"Sorry, I didn't know anyone was here."

Gale's voice travels up the tree and I lean a little lower to look at him. It's difficult when my eyes are so bleary from crying. I don't like crying, not at all, but I can't seem to stop it. Even now, I have to remind myself.

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am seveteen years old. My home is District Twelve. There is no District Twelve. I was in the Hunger Games. The Capitol hates me. They have Peeta.

They have Peeta....

I don't know how to approach Gale right now. I don't like that feeling. I've always known how to handle myself with him. We know each other inside and out. Or knew. I don't want to see him right now, but I don't want him to leave.

"I don't own the woods."

It's all I can think to say. He shouldn't have to apologize to me for existing in the same place I am. There aren't that many other places for either of us to go for the kind of solace we find in the woods. They're not our woods, but they're close enough that both of us can feel like home here even for a short time.

He wanted to take her shoulders, to tell her they did not have Peeta, to pull his shirt up, show her where the shrapnel pierced his skin, where it ripped through him as he rescued the boy who had unintentionally and unknown to him become Gale's rival.

And then his ally.....

Gale did none of this, he showed none of this as he took every ounce of any feeling he had and locked it as tight as he possibly could. Kept it at bay.

He is the same, they still know each other but since the Games, it had all just spiraled so fast they had no chance to grab a hold to what they used to be, what those woods symbolized, maybe, if that Quarter Quell had been different, they had a leg up then but again, the Capitol stepped in, they took it all from him.

Even here....

Was it not that long ago that they had laughed over being tied together by those flowers? Now, all he can see is the pain in her, feel the pain in him. She would know, that this was the only place he could breathe....

She would know why he was here.

Yet, she did not want him here, he hedged between wanting to be here, wanting to say something and turning and walking away, because what good was more pain?

"Me either, guess it makes them free of charge at least." Right, because a lame joke that made no sense was going to do anything.

I'm not sure how I feel about the way he tries to be humorous. Normally, on any other day, I would laugh. It feels like the sort of thing I should laugh at. But I'm furious and the pain is enough to make it difficult. My lips do twitch on their own, just at the corners. A week ago, it would have been a smile. A real one.

Instead, I say "Even if they weren't, we would never pay for them." Because we wouldn't. Our woods were off limits at home. Even if these were off limits, we would still come here. The two of us. Gale, and I.

He hates himself for it, hates himself for the fact that instead of seeing that at least there was still a twitch, he sees that there is no smile, he expects none, he deserves none.

Things have went from bad to worse, a chance to maybe repair damage and Gale, in trying to do the right thing (or so he thought), to let her be happy had in the end hurt her the most.

"You're right..." It means a lot, the we, could they still in some way be one of those? And that she is right, no matter if they were told they could not, they would come here, they would hunt, this was the one place that anything felt 'right'.

Slowly, I turn to look down at him. I grip the branches, settling my feet against the bark, and begin a slow descent to the ground. I shouldn't act like this toward him. After all, he rescued them. Peeta, Annie, the others... I have to give him a chance to explain. I can't stay angry with him forever. I don't know if I'm even capable. This is Gale. He's been my closest friend since we were young. He isn't them. He isn't the Capitol. He isn't the one who held Peeta captive. He just... didn't tell me they did.

"Gale," I say, as my feet reach the ground. "I need to talk to you."

He heard her coming before she was actually there. His body stiffened, he prepared himself for another round of arguing, how could he blame her? He had kept something from her, something that maybe he shouldn't have but what good would it have done? He knew Peeta to be safe, he was no longer held captive, why make her feel guilt over him having ever been if he did not have to?

Part of him had been afraid she would go back to the way she had been when Peeta was held captive, Gale did not want her to have go through that again. Finally thought he met her eyes.

"I'm listening..."

I struggle with words. They are not my forte. Peeta's better at them. Even Gale's better at them. I'm not a talker, I don't know how to be eloquent. But I need him to know that I'm not angry with him. Not the way that I was when I found out he'd been hiding things from me. I've had time to think, time to back down from my initial reaction, time to realize that I owe Gale. I owe him, like I've owed Peeta since that cold day in the rain. I owe him for Peeta's life.

"I'm sorry."

The words are foreign, feel strange on my tongue. I don't apologize much. But this is Gale, my Gale, and he deserves to hear it. He deserves to know that I am not angry or upset with him. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around everything I've been told, but I can't blame him for it. It's not his fault.

"For how I acted."

It stopped him, he actually froze as he just looked at her. He knew her, knew her better than she knew herself sometimes. Gale knew what it took for those few simple words. He is not sure what to say, while he may be better with words his feelings were something he struggled with.

No matter what has happened, she is his Catnip. A part of him knows those, knows, no matter what life brings this one girl will be a part of him forever.

He would never say she owed him, Gale was a big boy. He made his choices and he would live with them. He expected no one to give him or owe him anything.

"I might have had some of it coming. I don't..." Well that choked him up, he turned his head, looked down at his feet then finally he looked back at her.

"I don't like not telling you things." It never felt right, even if he did it to protect her.

"Gale, stop -"

It's instinct to reach for him. I don't know if he wants me to, if he wants to be touched at all, but I reach out and put my hand on his arm. Gale doesn't get emotional like this, not often, and when he does it's always for something painful.

"I overreacted. What you did for Peeta... For me... It makes up for not talking, and you were right - you were trying to protect me."

I drop my hand from his arm, and my eyes drop and I remind myself to breath.

"I don't want to fight with you anymore. I forgive you for not telling me."

She tells him to stop and he does, when her hand touches him he goes almost like a statue.

She is doing more than apologizing, she is...forgiving him. If only he could forgive himself, some part of him may never be able to do that.

He had seen the hurt on her face, heard it in her voice. That was his fault and Gale had never wanted to do that. He does not know what to say, instead Gale acts.

Because that is easier for him, he steps forward and draws her into a hug.

The arms around me are familiar. Warm, and strong, muscled from years of hunting and being the provider, and now from months of working in the mines. The movement is sudden, and he catches me off guard. Just like the first time he kissed me. The memory flashes in my mind, fresh as if it had happened just yesterday. It seems that the more time we spend with trouble bogging us down, the more he manages to surprise me.

I do not pull away. Instead, I lift my arms to brace against his, and I let him hold me. I lean into him and close my eyes and find solid ground in the sturdiness of his body. I do not want him to pull away.

"Gale?"

She was familiar, warm, comfortable as she braced herself against him. Let herself lean on him, even if only for a moment. He will hold her, as long as she will let him. In silence had been his plan, his words a jumbled mess in his head that Gale simply did not how to express them.

He takes a slow breath as she says his name. His voice is calm, betraying none of the emotions.

"Yeah, Catnip?"

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Even when you think you're right.....

i am actually going to cry before this thread is over i know it. also you love me don't lie!!!

I'd say I am sorry, but I'm really not. /pets Catnip

oh my god my heart please make it stop bb ;;

Mine noped out of this...it's gone...

oh no :c /heals it

If only it were that simple, they wouldn't be such a mess....

i'm cry

I am not sorry, they are painful.....

hold me ;_; also her paid ran out and i can't be assed to go get my wallet rn so random icons

I can handle random :P /holds

it's cool i fixed it

It breaks again, it always breaks it again...they are from Panem.

panem is full of life ruining idiots i hate them all

It is panem, what did you expect?