asgardmeridiem | Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do

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Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do

Who: Stiles and Scott
What: Brotp times, getting the low down on the place, and likely drunken chicanery.
When: Day 274 (Evening)
Where: Starting at the pet store, moving to some kind of drinking establishment
Rating: PG-13 for potential potty mouthed behavior.

He'd taken charge of Erica and they'd actually managed not to join Isaac in whatever prison he was being held in. He'd also managed not to mention that Isaac was in prison. Go Stilinski. He actually did figure out how to use the mapping system on the bracelets, meaning he was able to drop Erica back off in her own district at her own house eventually. He hadn't figured out how to do it without looking like a total tourist. Things to work on...

He made his way to the Freya district, standing outside the store and just shaking his head. "Allison's. Really, Scott?" Why was he friends with him again? They had some talking to do, he and Scott. Mainly about how many times he'd been here before, what had happened, and why he couldn't remember any of it. Then they'd get to the less important things, like Isaac and Derek.

Stiles hadn't heard anything else from the de-wolfed ex-Alpha and he wasn't really looking forward to bumping into him again. Maybe he wouldn't have to. Hey, with the whole werewolf thing gone from everyone, there was no reason for Scott to be around Hale at all, which meant Scott could be blissfully ignorant of his presence. Look at that, a positive already.

He headed into the store, calling out Scott's name when he entered.

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Maybe he's the kind of asshole who doesn't see girls as unicorns, you weirdo.

"Wait, Erica said she had feelings for you?" When did that happen? Scott hoped back home there had been too much werewolf crap going on and it had slipped Stiles' mind otherwise he was going to get his pout on at Stiles for not telling him.

"You're so not over Lydia," Scott shook his head at Stiles, unconvinced. Nonetheless, he followed Stiles' order and drank his shot. "Anyway, you shouldn't even feel lonely when you have me."

"Oh, right. Yeah, that was sort of when she was threatening me. And Jackson. So, it kind of didn't count, right?" Right. Totally right. Maybe she'd just said it to throw him off. Or, you know, maybe she'd said it because she liked to torment him and make him think about what was under that very tiny skirt.

He tipped his own shot back, tongue coming out at the taste of the jager, washing it down with beer. "I totally am. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's still gorgeous and insanely intelligent and mostly evil, but um, things sort of became glaringly obvious to me and I'm not that deluded."

He looked over at Scott, smile lighting back up. "I do, don't I? And you've totally always got me. Even if you don't want me. I'm like, that booger you can't flick off your finger."

"Dude, that totally counts. Why would she lie about something like that?" Scott replied brightly, patting Stiles on the back as if to say, "see, people do find you attractive!"

"I'll always want you," Scott said at the exact moment the man from the bathroom passed them and rolled his eyes at how in love these two dudes were. Like, get a room. "You know you're good enough for Lydia, right? And you deserve someone you don't have try so hard to make them pay attention to you." And damn did Stiles try hard. "Also someone you don't buy a flatscreen TV for to make them like you." Seriously Stiles, what the hell had you been thinking?

"Because she was evil, remember? Claws? Trying to kill Lydia? Ring a bell?" He shook his head, looking over at Scott. "You're the one getting drinks at the bar, man. I think it's the puppy butt-face. I'm jealous."

He saw the guy turning to look at them and giving them a look, he returned it with another 'what?' look. That guy was totally weird. Maybe he was trying to check out Scott's puppy butt-face butt. Back off, buddy. This was brotp time. He was going to respond to that, but then he realized he didn't have a good response, so he just grabbed his beer and drank it. "I took it back." Because that was the main thing, right?

"She wasn't evil, she was just being one of Derek's minions," Scott defended her because he couldn't help but see the good in people, like with Isaac.

"You're the one getting all the free drinks tonight. Maybe I'm buying you them because I think you're pretty." Scott winked at him as he sipped his beer. "How come you've never thought of buying me a TV? I actually need one." Since his was broken.

"Minions are evil by proxy." He sipped his beer, then pointed it at Scott. "It's like evil by association. Derek's evil, therefore Erica, at the time, was evil. She smashed me in the face with my starter and ditched me in a dumpster, Scott. That's something evil people do."

He nodded, smiling. "Because you're the one with the job and you're not likely to open up to my charms and give me all the lovings I need." Not that Lydia was either, but he had hoped.

"I forgot she did that," Scott said with a wince. Stiles was lucky Erica hadn't permanently disfigured his face. "That was pretty evil..."

After talking about Erica causing Stiles pain and humiliation along with his lack of love life, he obviously needed cheering up. What better way to cheer up his best friend by mooning the person they hated the most? "Finish your beer and we'll head to Derek's." It's mooning time, baby.

His face was his best feature. Well, other than his pretty hands, but most of his good parts were on his face. Rude, Erica. "Right? And then there was the whole shove push claws thing." He didn't forget, Erica. She'd liked pushing him around and maybe s small itty bitty tiny weeny part hadn't minded, until she got really painfully physical. No gusta.

"Yeah? We going to go see if he'll turn into a werebutt?" He grinned, tipping his beer back and chugging the rest of the bottle.

"Hey, at least she didn't sink her claws into your thigh, dangerously close to your you know what." It had been almost enough to scare him into never having an erection ever again. Claws near his privates? Major do no want from Scott.

"Hell yeah! I'll buy us more beer to drink on the way." Stiles head created a drunken monster. He finished the beer in his hand before ordering another two for their journey.

"She totally did, didn't she? That was cruel, man. And further proof that you probably have a vagina now." He grinned and pushed off from the stool, reaching over to swing an arm around Scott's shoulder and rest his head on it.

"Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you there's no one else above you?" He started to sing softly, Rod Stewart being butchered as he serenaded Scott. The guy from the bathroom came up to get another drink for himself, the side eye he gave them reaching critical levels.

Scott rolled his eyes when Stiles brought up him having a vagina again. He was starting to get worried about his best friend's obsession with him having one. Maybe he wanted Scott to have one so Stiles could see one in the flesh compared to on the internet where he usually looked at them. "Your face has a vagina," he replied childishly, picking up their beers on the way out.

He couldn't help but smile when Stiles sang to him. It was time for a serious question. "Would you still love me if I had a vagina?"

"Your face is a vagina. A puppy butt-face vagina. You've got the entirety of someone's pants on your face." Take that, Scott. Consider yourself served.

He laughed, walking out of the bar with his arm still around Scott's shoulders. "Scott, I would love you always. Even if you had a vagina. I might just love you a little differently and might possibly use you and your vagina to help facilitate my happy time."

Scott had no idea what to say that. No, wait, yes he did. "Shut up and drink your beer." He handed Stiles his bottle. He also gave him some advice.

"Don't ever tell a girl that you want to use her vagina to help facilitate your happy time." There had to be better ways of saying that. Seriously.

"Well, I wouldn't use their vagina to help with that, but knowing they have one certainly helps. Same with boobs. I love boobs. Scott, why can't I play with boobs? I'm adrift in a see without any floatation devices to save me."

He gave Scott one look of utter pouty dejection before he took a swig of his beer.

Stiles was talking about boobs. And now Scott was thinking about Allison's boobs. And thinking about Allison's boobs made him want to go home which meant sayonara, Stiles! Not that Scott would be able to get laid in this condition. Allison would take one look at him, fetch him some water and make him to go bed. For sleep only.

"Boobs aren't everything..." Nope, he couldn't say that with a straight face. Boobs were everything and they were awesome.

"Dude, I totally know that. There's also the vagina. And the butt. Man, I love a good butt. And legs. And hands. And faces. And mouths..." Okay, and now Stiles was off in internet porn land and it was a good place. A GOOD PLACE, SCOTT.

Every time Stiles said a different body part, he thought of Allison. Allison's butt. Allison's legs. Allison's hands. Allison's faces... wait, no, face. She only had one face. And one mouth too. But they were the best mouth and face out of all the mouths and faces...

And then Scott walked into a tree because he was thinking about Allison too much.

One minute Scott was walking beside him as Stiles was listing off all of the body parts he liked (which was every part), the next he was gone and Stiles heard a very distinctive 'thunk'. He looked back, starting to laugh as he saw what had happened.

Bending over, one hand holding the bottle and the other bracing himself up on his knee, he utterly lost it. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! That's what you get for thinking of Allison. Again! Seriously, man. You are the most whipped of all whipped people to ever be whipped. Jesus."

Scott thought the 'thunk' sound only happened in comics but that was exactly the noise when Scott connected with the tree, his puppy-butt face hitting it the most.

"How am I whipped for thinking about my girlfriend's body parts?" He rubbed at his face and felt a bump on his head. Great. His puppy-butt face was going to look like it had a giant wart on it. "You're using that word wrong. Stop using it."

"Am not. I'm using it perfectly. You're so whipped, the mere mention of your whipper puts your brain on autopilot as you attempt to crawl back to her on your knees. Totally whipped. Scott McWhipped, bearer of the puppy butt-face and owner of one mangina."

Stiles was giggling, dropping down to his knees, bottle resting on the ground as he curled over and hit his other hand on the sidewalk. "Mangina. Aha ha ha ha ha ha."

"That's it. I'm eating you." Scott didn't care if he wasn't a werewolf anymore, he joined Stiles on the ground, grabbed his arm and ate a chunk out of it.

...Okay, he playfully bit into Stiles' arm, that was all. It wasn't even hard enough to be a lovebite, which he totally didn't want to give Stiles right now. Stiles didn't deserve love after all his teasing.

Stiles just laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. "I love you, Mangina McPuppy Butt-face."

He tipped over, still laughing, but managing to keep his beer upright. He got points for that, right? Right. Points. Give him the points.

Scott tried to keep biting but he just ended up laughing because this was ridiculous. He'd walked into a tree thinking about his girlfriend and now he was trying to eat his best friend.

"I love you too, booger on my nose." Scott got up and held out his hand to pull Stiles up. "Dude, come on, we're nearly at Derek's." They really weren't. The bar they came out of was just over there. They weren't even in the right district.

"Okay." Stiles grabbed Scott's hand with the beer-free one, getting up with a bit of a wobble. But he was good, even if he was still chuckling. "Then let's go. Dude, if there was ever someone in need of a seriously serious operation to remove one ginormous pole out of one extremely uptight sphincter, it would be Derek Hale. C'mon, let's go get him."

It took at least an hour before the boys even got to Thor. You know what would be good in Asgard? Freaking taxis. It was a big city. It was a pain in the ass to walk everywhere, and it was even slower to get somewhere when you were drunk and distracted by everything.

"We're here," Scott whispered to Stiles when they were stood outside Room 105. He was whispering because the last thing he wanted was for Derek to hear something outside his room and open the door when they weren't ready.

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