[ closed for bros ] it's pie love between two guys

[mccallmemaybe]

Who: Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski
What: bros sharing pie
When: Day 290
Where: Odin, Room 101
Rating: probably PG-13 for language

[ Stiles had committed one of the most shameful offences as a best friend.

He'd been given pie and hadn't mentioned or shared it with Scott. Scott had to find out from someone else. Oh the audacity of it all. Scott didn't think he could ever forgive Stiles for that...

Until Stiles invited him over for pie, which meant Stiles was totally forgiven. He also had a present for Stiles since he seemed a little down in the dumps lately.

They had a secret knock they'd come up with years ago so Scott performed it against the door. ]

Comments

[mccallmemaybe]

[ Step away from the sharpie, Stiles. ]

Sorry, mom...

[ Scott goes to get some soap and comes back to applies it to the wall. ] This is the worst part about a food fight. [ Throwing food was fun. Cleaning was not. ]

[teenyoda]

Next time, I vote we do it outside. Without pie. This is a serious abuse of all things pie, Scott.

[mccallmemaybe]

Agreed. No pie. Gross food next time. [ Food they won't regret wasting. Scott has some serious regrets right now. He manages to get the wall clean. ] Look at that. Good as new, right?

[teenyoda]

Yeah. Now I might actually have someone be able to walk in without thinking I perform ritual sacrifices in here. Thanks.

[But Scott gets an 'A for effort' smile.]

[mccallmemaybe]

You're welcome. [ Scott tosses Stiles the soap to catch. Because it's totally easy to catch soap. ] Can I have the pants with my name on them now?

[teenyoda]

[He tried to catch the soap, honest, but it was a slippery sucker and it wound up squirting up out of his hands and punching him in the eye. Oh god.]

OH GOD. WHY? OH MY GOD. MY EYE. SOAP. EYE. SOAP. IN EYE. OH GOD, KILL ME NOW!

idk if you were joking about scott doing this BUT IT'S TOO LATE NOW

[mccallmemaybe]

[ Scott didn't know whether to laugh, feel terrible or feel like he'd witnessed something very special because what happened with the soap was the kind of thing you only saw in cartoons.

Stiles really did sound like he was in discomfort though and he couldn't let his best friend suffer. ] Hold on! I'll get you water!

[ There was a glass right over there but Scott overlooked that and grabbed the trashbin instead, forgetting it was filled with pie remains. He filled it up with some water, then threw the contests of the trashbin at Stiles' face. ]

Did that help?!

Not at all. This is perfect =)

[teenyoda]

[He had no idea what Scott was doing until it was too late. He stood there, soaked from head to foot, his new wolf had smeared in pie and sopping down over his face, rubbing the soap (which was still there, thanks) further into his eyes. The literal cherry on the cake was the actual remnants of their fight now thrown all over him, a piece of soapy cherry pie somehow finding its way up his nose. He blew it out, squinting over at Scott with one good eye.]

I hate you.

[mccallmemaybe]

[ Scott blinked in horror at what he'd done to his best friend. ]

Oh crap, I forgot there was pie in there! Dude, I'm so sorry. [ Scott racked his brains for another solution. ] The shower! That'll get everything off! Here, I'll help you. [ Because he'd been so much help already. Scott grabbed on to Stiles' arm and dragged him to the bathroom.

He switched on the shower and then shoved Stiles under the water.

...Which was cold, because he forgot to change the temperature first. Oops. Enjoy your cold shower, Stiles. ]

[teenyoda]

No, really, I don't think I want anymore of your kind of he-- OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST SHIT ASS!

[He flailed at the shower, hat falling down into his face as he tried to find the tap to either turn the hot on or the cold off, but he was also trying to squirm out of the way of the freezing water and wound up slipping and falling into a crumpled pie-smeared and soaked heap at the bottom of the shower. He let out one little moan, one feeble little sound of pain as he tried to still reach out and turn off the water. Oh god, his balls had literally crawled back up into his body, taking his dick with them and turning him into a girl.]

[mccallmemaybe]

What? What's wrong?! [ Scott didn't understand why Stiles was freaking out, until he put his hands on Stiles to try and stop him from flailing around and felt how freaking cold the water was. Oh no. ]

Stiles, watch out! [ Too late, he'd already slipped and fallen. Scott finally turned off the water, immediately dropping to his knees to check Stiles over. ] Are you okay? Are you hurt?

[teenyoda]

I hate you so hard.

[He could feel a throbbing in his cheek from where it had hit the edge, his head starting to ache as well. What remained of his manhood was also vaguely in pain, the cold water making it contract to the point where it was literally trying to pull in on itself. Ow.]

Who are you and what did you do with my best friend? Evil clone.

[His voice was distorted as his face was still smooshed at the bottom of the shower, hat covering half of his face, one of the attached mittens trying to strangle him.]

uploaded this icon especially

[mccallmemaybe]

Dude, I'm so sorry. What do you want me to do? Should I take you to the hospital? Let me help you up... [ Scott pulled him to his feet, putting Stiles' arm over his shoulder. Hopefully Stiles could walk or Scott would have to carry him bridal style. ]

Sad thing is, it might get used more than once.

[teenyoda]

[Scott was not carrying him bridal style. He had his dignity. Even if he was a pie-smeared soaked mess, he had some dignity. Maybe. It could be hidden up with his scrotum.]

I'm not going to the damn hospital. I just... Ow. I love you, man. I do. Really. You're my blood. But you are the worst helper ever.

are you planning to make me cry

[mccallmemaybe]

Right. Sorry. I forgot you don't like hospitals. [ Because of Stiles' mom. Scott grabbed a towel to wrap around him. ]

I should probably just put you to bed and leave before I make things worse.

Not today >>

[teenyoda]

Just give me a minute. There's pie all over my bed.

[He pushed the sodden had back, feeling it fall off and squelch onto the floor. He'd have to put that in the dryer. He didn't trust his fire ability to dry things yet.]

why harley whyyyyy

[mccallmemaybe]

I'll wash and dry that for you. [ It was the least Scott could do. ] Lie down. Are you in any pain? Do you want me to get you some painkillers?

Because I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE you.

[teenyoda]

Do they have painkillers for damaged pride and retracted genitals? Because if they do, I'd like some of that, thanks.

you have a funny way of showing it by planning to make me cry

[mccallmemaybe]

Now you've got the mangina you've always talked about. [ The mangina he always talked about Scott having. ]

Says the person planning on DYING

[teenyoda]

Do not.







If I did, wanna get married?

I'm a terrible person

[mccallmemaybe]

[ Stiles, you know Scott is going to marry Allison one day and they will have adorable badass babies together. ] I kind of have my eye on someone else... but I guess polygamy is always an option. [ Then he can marry Isaac too. ]

The first step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

[teenyoda]

[Dude, if you marry Isaac, he will never, ever forgive you. Ever. He'll go out and marry... Derek and Peter and find a way to have ass babies for them, just out of spite.]

Uh huh. Sure. Leave me out in the cold, all alone. It's okay, I have a blanket.

[mccallmemaybe]

[ Stiles, calm your hateboner for Isaac. And please don't ever speak of ass babies out loud. ]

You know you're destined to be my best man anyway, not my husband with a mangina.

[teenyoda]

[Then don't go threatening to marry Isaac and leave Stiles all alonely for the rest of his days. It hurts, man.]

Uh huh. Can I borrow the 'always a bridesmaid, never a bride' saying? Yea, I'm totally taking that.

[mccallmemaybe]

If we get drunkenly married here, I'm blaming you.

Is there anything you need before I go?