asgardmeridiem | If the stars say that you couldn’t love me

Entry tags:

If the stars say that you couldn’t love me

Who: Rose (

idem )
What: Nightmares were never his strong point.
When: Night 453
Where: Rose's room
Rating: R.....to be safe?

The Doctor wakes up in a cold sweat, nearly falling out of bed as he reaches out for something he cant remember chasing after. There's a scream caught in his throat, a name he's forgotten, and it works it's way out of his lungs in a strangled whimper as he deflates, all his muscles aching from the fitful frightened sleep he's endured the last two days. He's never slept much even before the Time War, and after he went as long as he could without it. Here, without the TARDIS to soothe his mind, the nightmares felt even worse. He was alone. So alone.

Tentoo fumbled out of bed, one hand pressed to his face and the other groping for a path to the ensuite, where he washes his face without bothering to turn on the lights. He can't remember the dream, but that doesn't change the sickness in his chest it left, and he leans braced against the sink until his stomach stops trying to upend itself on him. The clock on the wall said 2:00 AM, he notices it as he walks out the door, already in the hall before he realizes where he's going. Rose. He needed to see her. This wasn't how things were supposed to be after they were left on the beach, he wasn't supposed to be separated from her, not this quickly. She had accepted him hadn't she? But that was a different her.

He hadn't bothered putting on shoes, and the ground is cool against his feet (he's so much more sensitive to temperature in this body) as he makes his way across the city, still in his striped pajamas. The stars aren't ones he recognizes, and he's seen nearly all of them, and he commits them to memory, red, blue, white dwarf, all trillions of years old and so far away.

The moment he enters Sigyn house he feels strange, but presses forward until he find's Rose's door, and knocks, resting his forearm on the door frame and his forehead against that.

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She bites at her lips, and her eyes go wide and bright with grave understanding. Her brow furrowed with concern, she leans forwards, seeking out his eyes. Her voice is damp with emotion, but steady and strong. Because losing her? That's already happened. She knew that much from her arrival, and from talking to the other Doctors. She knows, and she understands.

"Some things are worth the hurt, though, yeah?" She rubs her palm against her shorts, straightening the fabric, and takes a breath - and a chance.

"The next you, the one with the bow tie-" The eleventh, Jamie had told her, though the numbers still sounded foreign in her mind. "-he told me I'd find my way back."

There's something that moves over his face that's a bit like shock, before he processes that she knows and that another him had told her. One in a bowtie, he hasn't talked to that one yet, and the fact that he had told her instead of leaving it to him bothers him. He straightens up. "Yes. Yes you do."

She just gives a nod, then slowly maneuvers herself to be sitting next to him instead of across. The Doctor's timeline is as unknown to her as her own is, and she'd been unsure as to whether he was aware yet in this body. Perhaps his affection had been capitulated more here by her absence. But hearing those words from him gives her a comfort, deep and abstract, spreading warmth in her chest. This is a thing that can happen, maybe even in her concrete future back at home, as large and unfathomable as the thought is. She bumps her shoulder against his, and breaths in deeply.

"I'm glad."

He gives a short breathless laugh, bumping her back and then leaning against her a little, staring up at the stars. "Me too."

In the comfortable silence that follows, Rose slides one arm around his waist, seeking out his hand with her other. She breathes in against the fabric of his pajamas, unsure what else to say - at least, what else to say that she knows he'd be comfortable with hearing. Looking up at his face, she smiles warmly.

"I'd forgotten all about you waking me up, with your nightmare. Seems ages ago."

"First my lucky pants, now my dream-catcher. Keep this up and I may not be able to live without you." He smiles down at her, wide and warm, before leaning down, bumping his nose against hers, before turning his head and leaning just close enough for their lips to brush, and then hovers there. He wants to speak the words he had on the beach, but it feels like too much just yet. He really is content with just this.

Rose smiles into the soft kiss, twining her arms up to wrap around his shoulder and brush against his hair.

"Pity that would be. We'd have to walk around holding hands all day." It's barely louder than a whisper, spoken nearly against his lips. She leans in for another quick peck. "Unbearable."

The Doctor shifts, cupping her cheek in his free hand, and kissing her more firmly even as he laughs, eyebrows meeting his hairline. "That, Rose Tyler, would be terribly domestic. Haven't I told you how I feel about domestic?"

If she had a response to that, he's quickly put a halt to it with his mouth, leaning into her as he lets his eyes close.

She has a comeback to that, truly, but it disappears into his mouth in a hum of assent. It's quickly becoming familiar, the feel of his lips and that brilliant tongue, but she hopes she'll never get used to it. Kissing should feel this groundbreaking every single time, she decides, the shake of a giddy laugh rising up in her chest. She leans back slowly onto one elbow, tugging him down with her gently by his shoulder, smiling into the kiss all the while.

"'S long as more of this doesn't count as domestics," she laughs, her lips barely leaving his.

He laughs again, softer this time, and follows her as she leans back, following her to one elbow as the other hand traces down her neck, and settles lightly on her ribcage, thumb working slow circles into her white vest. "I don't see any carpets do you?" He murmurs into her mouth, his voice rough, and he nips at her bottom lip, kisses her chin, the curve of her jaw, the spot just below her ear and then ---breaks into incredibly loud and long yawn.

She can't help but break into a laugh at his sudden, wide yawn, as much as she'd been enjoying what was sure to be a lovely below-the-neck adventure. The late hour had completely slipped her mind - she'd barely been asleep at all before the Doctor knocked on her door!

"Not the best timing, yeah?"

"Still getting used to having to sleep every night. It's rubbish if you ask me" he yawns again, bringing tears to his eyes and he sits back and sighs. "Rain check then. Did you know the term rain check is used on the planet Iscipololos? There it developed because their rain is acidic, instead of just a mood killer. Kissing in the rain doesn't seem too bad though, just look at Spider-Man."

The Doctor heaves himself to his feet and offers Rose a hand, grinning lopsidedly. "I'll walk you back."

"Just don't go getting any ideas and dangling yourself from buildings, now."

She grins as she pulls herself up, and doesn't let go of his hand as she walks back towards the orange-lit street. It's the same dark, drab city they walked here through, but whether it's the warm tingle around her lips or the fading thrill in the bottom of her stomach, everything seems more alive this time around. She walked here half asleep, but she's leaving in a strange, exciting dream.

"I have done that already, I'll have you know. It's old hat by now, swinging from buildings." There's a bounce in his step that wasn't there when they left from Rose's room, a kind of saunter that is much more like The Doctor then the pitiful thing that had shown up at her door, and he smiles at the night.

It doesn't take long for them to get back to where they started, and The Doctor cant help but slow down at the front doors, fingers curling a little tighter around Rose's. He's never had a problem with letting go of her before, never having been the overly clingy type, but after all they've been through he's hesitant to let go. 'To her room then.' He decides, and grins at her as they walk through the front door.

Rose leads him in and up the stairs, through the pre-dawn hush. She feels for a moment as though she's sneaking a boy into her flat back home, prepared for the creak of her mum waking up down the hall. The reality is both joyful and saddening.

Squeezing his fingers between hers, Rose feels her chest clench at the realization that she'd half expected him to bolt before now. Snogging in the grass was groundbreaking, but coming back to sleep - just sleep - in her bed feels almost domestic. She glances back as they cross the threshold into her sparse room.

"You want to stay?"

Edited (no creaming here, sorry) 2014-05-25 00:15 (UTC)

He hovers at the doorway, glancing over at her bed and then back at Rose, his eyes wide like an owl's. It would be a lie to say that he hadn't considered it on their way back, but here confronted with the option of crawling into bed with her he freezes. It's one of those things that is too good to be true, he's expecting to wake up or something horrible to happen.

"I..." He licks his lips, stands there like a lump for a few minutes, before he turns to the door, closing it. "My jimjams are a bit dirty." He says after a moment, turning back to face her with sheepish smile, hands still against the doorknob as he leans into the door.

"Is that just an excuse to take them off?"

It's something she'd say to any old bloke, and as soon as it's out Rose bites her tongue, looking over at him with a little laugh of disbelief at her own boldness. She can feel the flush returning to her cheeks as she finally lets go of his hand and moves over to her small chest of drawers.

"Unless you think you can fit into mine, I don't have anything for you." She pulls out a pair of shorts and holds them up to his hip, acting as though she's considering the sizing.

The Doctor's face turns a very particular shade of red, and he goes through a bit of "Ah..ah..ah..um...eeerhh..." He watches her as she ges through her drawers, and then walks back towards him. Her hands bump against his hips as she holds up her shorts, and he bites down on his bottom lip, eyes dark and lidded as he reaches down and places his hands lightly over hers, holding them there. "I think I could. Thank you."

Unsure if the statement is joking or not, Rose shoves the pajama bottoms into his hand, and gestures to the bathroom door. Her own face is nearly as red, but she's grinning ear to ear at his rather adorable stammering.

"You can change in there. Just don't wake up the bloke next door." She's never had a conversation with Ezio, but he doesn't look like the sort of man you'd want to awaken while putting on women's pajama shorts.

He laughs, smiling at her before turning for the bathroom. "I'll do my best."

It doesn't take long to switch into the shorts, walking out of the bathroom all long limbs and bare feet, the shorts looking on him as though he's about to go sunning on some Italian beach side. He smiles at her, striking a little pose, one foot kicking up. "Perfect fit."

Rose laughs with her whole body, falling back into a sitting position on the bed. She's changed into a clean pair as well, and run a brush through her knotted, damp hair. The sheets are already pulled down, and as she appraises the rather fantastic (if not skinny and ridiculous) sight in front of her, she wriggles back over to her side.

"A complete Adonis. You should get yourself a pair, really."

"I just might." He hesitates on the other side of the room for a moment, licking his lips before turning to shut off the light. The room goes black, and he fumbles along the wall, missing his time lord eyes. He finds the edge of her bed, before tracking the line of it, and then slipped in behind her, slowly wrapping one arm around her waist as he tucks in beside her.

"Is this alright?" He asks quietly, resting his head on his arm, fingers curling at her stomach.

She hums a small chuckle at his clumsiness, but as soon as he climbs into bed and curls in behind her, she falls silent, nearly reverent. He's so, so warm, and again the bell in the back of her mind threatens that this is all some dream. She'll fall asleep in his arms and wake up with him still across the city and oblivious.

"'Course it's alright." She covers his hand with her own, tilting her head back to nudge against his own.

He laughs softly, almost disbelievingly, and closes his eyes, pressing his nose into the curve of her shoulder, pressing a lingering kiss there. His stomach is a little twisted from the anticipation of what could be lingering in his dreams, but the anchor of his companion curled against him was enough to reassure him. In fact, he was already feeling sleepy. "Good night Rose."

Rose twists herself around just enough to press a kiss to his lips, before settling back down into the pillow. She stretches out her legs, wedging one foot between his, and breathes a sigh of contentment.

"'Night, Doctor." A pause. "Don't worry about waking me up if you need to. If you have another nightmare, I mean."

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If the stars say that you couldn’t love me

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