[Closed] A guilty conscience needs no accuser;

[faceofbeau]

Who: Jack Harkness & the Ninth Doctor
What: Jack owes someone an apology
When: Day 493
Where: Hel Welcome House
Rating: PG for now, I'll update if it becomes necessary


He'd spent the past few days since he'd returned from greyness taking care of Ianto Jones, making sure the younger man had all the attention he'd denied himself and more, making sure he ate and drink plenty, making sure he rested, making sure he got better. Because even if it was just fatigue, from pushing himself while he looked for Jack, from not taking care of himself, returning to have Ianto collapse in his arms had been a terrifying moment for Jack. A moment he needed to make up for, to himself and to Ianto. But it had been a few days, and Ianto was recovering, and Jack was well aware that there were things he needed to do. Needed to say, to take care of, with and to certain people. So after Ianto had settled in to sleep, Jack placed a gentle kiss to his forehead, made his way out of the bedroom and downstairs, and thumbed his bracelet on. The message he left was brief;

"Hey, Doc, it's me. Think you could meet me at your place in Hel?"

And then, without waiting for an answer, Jack swung into his greatcoat and set off towards the Hel district and welcome houses.

Comments

[notbychoice]

The Doctor had been doing quite a bit of wandering in the last few days, going back and forth from where he was staying to work or just for a walk to clear his head, but now he was just starting to feel the effects of that. Normally, he didn't get tired, but he was basically human now, which meant he couldn't keep going all the time, not anymore.

Things weren't bad, exactly, and he'd reluctantly accepted that Jack was grey and quite possibly not returning, although he'd searched relentlessly until it became clear enough that there were no signs of the missing man. He didn't want to accept that, didn't want to accept that Jack had gone and he'd never been able to set things right between them, but what more could he do?

So when that message came over the bracelet, he just froze, realizing with a start that he wasn't prepared for this. He didn't know what to say, just that something had to be said, and now he really didn't have time to put that together, since Jack was most likely already on his way. Of course, he managed a brief response to let Jack know that it was alright to stop by, and then he began to pace.

So whenever Jack turned up, that was what he'd find: the Doctor pacing back and forth, all but wearing a tread in the carpet beneath him, trying and mostly failing to work out what he ought to say.

[faceofbeau]

It wasn't long before Jack was at the Doctor's door, although he paused before it for a moment before going any further. There was so much he needed to say- so much he needed to apologize for. And he had no idea what would await him on the other side of that door. How the Doctor would react, what kind of state he was in. How he felt after the way Jack had spoken to him the last time they'd talked. When Jack had so harshly accused him of things that he hadn't even done yet. Things that, really, Jack didn't blame him for. He just been reaching out for something to hold to, some way to stave off the pain he'd been in, and instead he'd ended up hurting someone he cared about too deeply for words. Someone he loved. Someone who had only been trying to help him.

And- well. That was why he was here now. To correct that, if the Doctor would let him. So, finally, he reached out and knocked, calling out,

"Doctor?"

[notbychoice]

The Doctor paused in his pacing, hearing what sounded like muffled footsteps outside his door. Out of everything he'd seen, for some reason, in this moment, he was just completely unprepared and uncertain what to expect. Things had gone so wrong between them, and whatever happened between them right now would not be pleasant. How could it, when such harsh words had been said?

But, actually, the Doctor wondered if Jack meant some of what he said. It didn't matter that he had no personal recollection of anything that the other man had let slip, from the bit about the vortex manipulator to those details about the deaths of Jack's team. Maybe it hadn't been him who'd done the actions that led to those other things happening, but he still was the Doctor, wasn't he?

That meant he was still responsible on some level, and therefore, he couldn't blame Jack if he held some residual resentment towards him.

But hesitating here wasn't getting anything done, other than to postpone the inevitable, so he crossed to the door and opened it, not quite meeting Jack's gaze. "Come on in," he said as he stepped to one side to let him in.

[faceofbeau]

Jack let out a long, deep, breath, as he heard footsteps near the door, heard the man on the other side grip the handle, undo the locks, and- this was it. Here it went. His head raised, as the door slid open, and there he was. The Doctor. A man Jack had loved for longer than he'd loved anyone else, save one. A man he'd scorned and hurt, far too much, and a man who, if he understood correctly, had searched tirelessly for him alongside Ianto while he'd been gone. Despite what Jack had said to him. And now he had to make it right.

"Thanks," he answered, his voice tight, quiet- for him, especially- and he moved through the door and past the Time Lord carefully. He took up less room than usual, partially by design, and partially because- this was going to be hard, and he knew it. He owed the other man, so much, and as little as he wanted to do this, he had to. He had to make it right. And making it right involved- telling far more than he wanted.

So be it.

Once inside, he turned, to face the Doctor, suddenly unsure. Of how to do this, how to start. Where to go, here in the Doctor's quarters. Except- there really only was one place to start, and that was-

"I'm sorry."

[notbychoice]

In the Doctor's mind, no apologies were necessary. Jack's words had been said in the heat of a moment, and the man had clearly been under pressure and stress at the time, so the Doctor had already decided he'd forgiven him. In fact, there really wasn't anything to forgive.

He had no business feeling much of anything, because it wasn't meant to be personal. But then again, if Jack wanted to apologize, was it really worth it to potentially cause more friction by saying it wasn't needed?

"You're welcome," the Doctor replied, waving a hand around the admittedly rather sparsely furnished room, in case Jack wanted to sit while they talked. He'd let the other man say what he came to say, but really, for him, his main concern was finding out if Jack was alright, and doing better than the last time they'd talked.

And if he wasn't, well, he'd basically bend over backwards to help however he could.

"It's alright, really. I know you were dealing with things then, and I suppose I wasn't really helping matters."

As far as he was concerned, the blame for it mostly rested with him for helping corner Jack. No one ever liked being pushed, and that was exactly what he'd done.