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Who: Clara Oswald & The Twelfth Doctor
What: Clara gives a welcome to the city and catches up with her bff
When: Day 504
Where: Home Sweet Home
Rating: PG? Can't see needing a higher rating than that.

[Since the Doctor's message over the network seems to have exploded into an overwhelming matter, she decides to distract him from continuing to respond and drags him home. She assumes he'll stay with the rest of them, without actually having asked if he wants to. It's easier to keep an eye on him if he's in the same house as her and her other Doctor. She's not sure which room he'll occupy, but she gives him a quick tour of the downstairs area, making sure to avoid showing him Eleven's workshop. She'll allow his younger self show him the room if he wants to.

Later.

Because he's all hers for now.

She's so curious about this Doctor, so interested in learning what makes him tick and seeing what's different about him. He's still the same man, underneath it all, but he's had a personality reboot and she wants to get to know him outside of how well she knows his previous self. So she takes hold of his hand and takes the stairs at a run, and leads him to her room. She locks the door behind them, and nods over toward the oversized chair sitting in the corner. There's plenty of books in the bookcases lining her room to peek at, and tons of baubles that she's picked up in her time in Asgard. But she wants him to sit where she can watch him, and try to figure him out a little better.]

So. The new face. Did you decide to go older, or was that a thing that just happened?

[Right. She's off to a great start already.]

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[He doesn't sit just yet, instead choosing to walk around the room and trail his fingers over the spines of the books. It reminds him a little of his redesigned console room and all its bookcases, and it makes him feel a little more at home in a different world. Not that the Doctor isn't used to being out of place - it's sort of his thing, or it has been in the past - but being human has thrown him for a bit of a loop.

He glances over his shoulder, eyes narrowing at her question.]

You ought to know more about regeneration than that. He ought to have told you more.

[It sounds like she doesn't approve of his new face, and he's a little hurt, though he doesn't let it show, instead turning back to the books. He's already fought this battle once, already had to win her acceptance, and to start back at square one - well. He doesn't like it.]

Edited 2014-09-07 02:03 (UTC)

Should've, but he didn't.

[She shrugs, frowning at the look on his face. Eleven should've told her a lot of things, he should've treated her better, should've valued her more, should've not done a lot of things where she was concerned. But what was done was done, and Clara can only move on past it. And right now, she's looking at her future. And it looks like he's unsure about things, so she tries to smooth things over as best as possible.]

Just because I leapt into your time stream doesn't mean I remember all about regeneration. Or that I actually understand it.

[She walks over to stand next to him, giving him a little nudge with her hip as she pulled out a book of philosophy and handed it over to him. It's time to move past things that his last self should've or could've done. They hadn't been done, and now they both had to pick up the pieces and figure things out together.]

Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one. Marcus Aurelius said that. And he was the only pin up I've ever had on my wall.

[That should say a lot about what she thinks of his current face, she hopes.]

It's not a choice. The faces happen; I don't get to pick one that I like. You've probably heard Chinny moaning about never getting to be ginger. Young, old, short, tall, I don't have a say in the matter. I'm old. It's happened before. I've got wrinkles on my face, but not of my own making.

[He hesitates for a moment before he continues, his tone softening a little.]

It's always difficult for the people who travel with me when it happens. Not just adjusting to the physical changes, but the fact that I'm literally a new man. It's hard for people to see that I'm still me, to see me for who I am.

[Another pause.]

We were in a band together. He played bass guitar. I was the drummer.

[She laughs in disbelief, hands going up to cup around her mouth.]

You were not!

[Laughing once again, she girlishly leans back on her heels. Her hands drop down to clasp behind her back, and she rocks back a little further.]

Were you?

[Oh my God, he was. She can tell. He was. And realizing it delights her, she grins wildly and gets all up in his space as if she's going to ask what he's like and what sort of amazing man he must've been. But she realizes this is about him and not an ancient philosopher.]

Anyway. When you care about someone as much as I do you, it's a little difficult to have everything change in an instant.

[Eleven's gotten her to open up a lot here. Because of him, she's actually able to say things like this and not completely want the ground to swallow her whole.]

[Oh god. Is he really going to have to give her the 'not your boyfriend' speech? He thought he wouldn't, since she and Jamie are together, but. He's not quite sure, and he doesn't want to be wrong about it. So it's better to continue erring on the side of caution and leaving that for back home.]

It's even more difficult for me, you know. The regeneration sickness, the adjustment, the uncertainty- I still don't know who I am, Clara. It's like filling in a puzzle, but the last few pieces are missing, and you really aren't quite sure what the big picture is going to be. And you just have to hope that whoever's with you stays, because sometimes, when you don't know yourself, they're the only thing you do know, the only thing you can really trust. It's frightening for both of us, but absolutely terrifying for me, no matter how many times I go through it.

Why wouldn't I stay?

[She dismisses the thought with an arched eyebrow and a wave of her hand, and shoves the book back on her shelf. A little bothered by the fact that she might potentially consider such a thing not too far in her future, she goes over to sit on the edge of her bed.]

You said it yourself. I don't walk away, not from people I care about. Or from my responsibilities.

[And whether he likes it or not, he is one of her responsibilities.]

Oh, I'm a 'responsibility' now, am I?

[He shrugs and takes a seat in the armchair, crossing one leg over the other and folding his hands on top of those.]

Because I'm not him. And I can't be him. Whatever it was the two of you had, whatever he might have thought you had, that's not me. I'm different to him, Clara, and sometimes people can't handle different, not in relation to someone they care so much about. I'm- I'm not saying that you're like that, just that it happens.

[Okay, so it's never actually happened to him BUT IT'S FEASIBLE THAT IT MIGHT HAPPEN.]

If I'm not like that, why bother bringing it up? Unless you think I might be like that, and you're just afraid to admit it.

[Both eyebrows are arched now, and she looks over at him with a momentary burst of anger.]

You should stop talking about him like he isn't you. Sounds like if one of us has an issue with different, it's you.

[Apparently she's going to be frustrated and angry now. She doesn't appreciate his little speech just now, doesn't think she deserves it or it needs to be said.]

He's not me! Just because we're the same person doesn't mean-

[He cuts himself off with an irritated huff.]

This discussion is impossible to have in English. And with a human. I'm him, he's me, we're the Doctor. We're the same man, but we're different men. I want you to look at me and see me, not him. That's all.

I do see you. What makes you think I don't?

[Her tone softens at the end of her question, and she just looks confused. What's happened between the two of him in his time for him to be saying the things he is. She gets that he's him and his past self is separate. They're all the same man, but regeneration causes a huge change.]

I went home for a short while. Was back a handful of months. Went through Christmas, then was pulled back here right after you regenerated.

[Her face falls as she remembers it, and she brings a hand up to clutch at her chest. She looks dangerously close to cracking and showing actual emotion, but she manages to swallow it just fine.]

I've had plenty of time to mourn and sort things out while I've been here, Doctor. You don't have anything to worry about.

It's not- it's not something you mourn, Clara. I'm not dead. That's the whole problem!

[To him, as a Time Lord, regeneration is perfectly natural, and so he has a bit of a blind spot when it comes to his companions' ability to adjust to the sudden change. He doesn't quite realise that to them, the closest comparison is dying and being replaced by someone different.]

You said you don't want me to see you as him. That means I'm losing him, but I gain you. That doesn't mean I think it's a bad thing.

[She shakes her head, but can't stay looking at him for long. She thinks that he's disappointed in her, that he's angry with her for not understanding. She's confused right now, and starting to feel emotional and overwhelmed.]

Is it wrong to care about you, then? Because you're him but not him? You'll always be the Doctor, no matter what face you wear or how you care about me, or how our relationship changes. You don't need to explain this to me.

[He runs a hand through his hair, muttering something about pronouns under his breath.]

It's not a matter of maths. You aren't losing him and gaining me, you have me the whole time. I know that doesn't sound like what I said, but you have to trust me, this would all make perfect sense in Gallifreyan.

[He pauses for a moment, compressing his lips into a thin line.]

Before we went into the Dalek - before I even told you we were going anywhere - I asked you if you thought I was a good man. Me, not me-as-him. And you said that you didn't know.

That's future me. Not the me that's currently me, and sitting right near you. You're talking at me, not to me, and holding me accountable for things I haven't even said yet!

[She's even more confused now, and hops up to stand. She looks beyond hurt by this point, and doesn't really understand why any of this is being said yet again. She hasn't rejected him here, she doesn't feel like she's lost anything, and he's being completely contradictory.]

Just -

[Huffing, she does something selfish. He's said that he's not much of a hugging person, but she needs a hug right now. So she closes the distance between them and tries to hug him. While he's still sitting in the chair. It's incredibly awkward and she immediately regrets the decision because of how awkward the position is.]

Stop talking. I know I have you, and you're you but not you. You're my Doctor, and so is he. And everything's gonna be just fine.

[So ssh with the weird focus on what she thinks of him, she's starting to think he really cares what her thoughts and opinions are.]

[Gosh why would he do something like that?

O-oh. Now she's hugging him again. He sort of tries to awkwardly hug her back, but it's a little tricky, and he's still not entirely certain where his arms go in a hug.]

...to be fair. Later on, you said that I tried to be, and that was probably the point.

That sounds like the sort of good advice I'd say.

[Smiling, she shifts so she's sitting on the arm of the chair, and it's easier to lean over and rest her head against his shoulder. It's not quite a hug, but it's much more comfortable to try and do. And it gives her some comfort, although one of Eleven's big bear hugs is needed right about now. But she tries to ignore that thought, and instead focuses on how just this Doctor's presence is strong enough to feel protective.]

I think it is the point. Trying to be. Nobody's perfect all the time. Specially not someone as impossibly old as you are.

[He awkwardly tries putting an arm around her shoulders. It's like a hug, sort of, but with less physical contact. Which is good, because he's still not sure how much he likes physical contact, but he knows that Clara isn't going to give him any choice in the matter. He's quiet for a few moments before he speaks again.]

The Dalek. It said I was a better Dalek than it was.

[Oh. Well...look at him. He can almost hug. She wasn't much of a hugger when they first met, and he ruined all that. So it's her goal to ruin it all for him too.]

And you actually believe what a Dalek tells you?

[Shh, don't draw his attention to it, just accept it. He's kind of like a skittish cat.]

It's not the first time that's happened. There was one back when I was old Leather and Ears, when I thought they were all extinct, told me I would make a good Dalek. This Dalek...I specifically told it that the first time I went to Skaro, I knew who I had to be, the moment I met them, that I defined being the Doctor as not being the Daleks.

If you told him that, he knew what to use against you to get at you the best. The exact thing to say to bother you the most. If you told him the Doctor was not the same as the Daleks, of course it'd say that you were a good Dalek. He knew it'd get a reaction out of you.

[It's the same as children at school. They said the worst thing they could think of in the moment, something they knew would hurt to someone's core as fast and as painful as possible.]

I don't think you make a very good Dalek. And I've been one myself, I think. So I'd know.

[Pause.]

Don't think I made a very good one, either.

No, you didn't.

[The corners of his lips twitch up into something almost like a smile.]

You erased me from their collective databanks, actually.

[She seems incredibly proud of that, even though she's nicely filed away all her memories of echoes so she specifically doesn't remember them. She's got Asgard to thank for remembering what she has so far.]

So I wasn't good at being a Dalek, but I was a good Dalek. Useful one, too. Sounds about right.

You overcame the programming just long enough, yeah.

[Long enough to destroy herself and save the Doctor, Rory, and Amy, but he's not going to mention that. Clara knows why her echoes exist, but there's no need to go into detail about it.]

That's the problem when humanity gets involved with Daleks. Davros managed to remove their free will all those millennia ago, but if they're foolish enough to use humans as source material, it creeps right on in again.

[She laughs a little, but then realizes they're casually discussing Daleks while almost hugging. It's a very surreal experience, and it gets her to sit upright.]

So. Housing. You should stay here.

[She looks around her room, and her eyes eventually fall on him.]

Not in my room, just...in the same house. I think it'd do you some good.

Well, I wasn't planning on sleeping at the foot of your bed or anything.

[And he's not even going to say anything about bedrooms. It's probably a good thing she hasn't been through that yet, otherwise she might not think he would even want a bedroom. Regeneration sickness is so embarrassing.]

Chinny lives here, yeah? And Jamie.

Jamie's right across the hall, yeah. And I am so not calling him Chinny, but yes, he's right next door to me.

[She's a little amused by the thought of him sleeping at the foot of her bed.]

It's a good thing you weren't planning on sleeping at the foot of my bed or anything, cos I'm sure Jamie would have a lot of things to say about it if you were.

I imagine he would, yes.

[Lineface. Not making any comments on whether or not they're sleeping together. Definitely not making any comments about introducing him to modern methods of birth control. He'd rather not get slapped, thank you very much.]

[Omg Doctor, she can tell by that lineface your'e judging her. Or not saying something. Probably both. She frowns, hopping up to stand.]

Go on, say what you're keeping in.

[Her arms cross over her chest and she smirks, because she knows him so well that he can't get away with stupid things.]

Who said I was keeping anything in? I just figured the two of you would rather have your privacy, that's all.

[Shruuuuug.]

[There's a long pause, and then she shrugs. Her arms stay crossed over her chest.]

You usually always have an opinion on everything.

[Her smirk melts into a smile, pleased that he actually doesn't for once.]

Anyway, it's not like he's in here every night. I like having my space. So if you do need something, even if it's well after two or three in the morning, feel free to pop in.

[Because Clara has developed a great ability to not ever sleep here, which goes great with her running herself ragged. He'll be able to find her up and doing things at all hours.]

[Of course he has an opinion on it, but he's going to refrain from sharing it. Take a picture, Clara, because this will never happen again.]

Clara. You do realise I'm entirely capable of taking care of myself, right?

[Please try not to die laughing.]

I'm sure you can. But I meant needing company.

[She knows he probably won't sleep at night either. It seems to be a general Doctor trait.]

Because I know I do sometimes, on nights I can't sleep.

[She also knows that making it sound like she needs him instead of the other way around will probably just get him to accept her offer and move on.]

[And, in fact, it does get him to worry about her, rather than himself. Which probably isn't quite her intended outcome, whoops.]

Does that happen to you a lot?

[There's a concerned furrow to his brow. As much as he might tease her about her looks, it's obvious that he genuinely cares about Clara.]

[She's a little surprised by the concern on his face, and her eyes widen a little as she takes in a slight breath of air that she holds for a few seconds. She could lie to him, or not tell the whole truth (something she might do with Eleven), or play it off as a joke (something she might also do with Eleven). ]

Increasingly so.

[She goes for the blunt, honest truth instead. There's a shrug to it, and she glances down at her fingernails as if her answer's not interesting and cleaning her nails is more pressing a concern.]

Things here, they aren't usually very...nice. Or safe. I worry more here. Have more to do. I've died here.

[And really, the lack of sleep started shortly after that.]

Dying's enough to give anyone nightmares.

[Although very few of his nightmares involve his own regenerations. It's the sort of thing that's more true of humans than it is of the Doctor - though he supposes that actually dying here, which is entirely possible, would have quite the effect on him.]

The city's in the middle of a war, you said.

[She makes a soft hm sound, and gives a light nod of her head. ]

The fighting's gotten worse the past couple months. Giants recently attacked the city, but we managed to chase them away. Like I said, we're expected to join groups. I'm part of emergency response.

[She doesn't think that's a good fit for him, though. But she knows she definitely doesn't want him in the military.]

There's supply rationing, I believe. And engineers. medics, something about a city patrol...and a few others I forgot the names of. Please, please, please pick something not entirely dangerous. Something that'll keep you in the city with me.

[Wait, does that come off as controlling and near desperate? Well. Asgard sucks and it's changed her. Life is hard. Deal with it, Twelve.]

[She's a control freak. Some things will never change. He's a little surprised that she's begging him to do what she wants, rather than just telling him; Clara wouldn't ordinarily give him an option. Unless this is one of those times when she's just pretending he has a choice.]

I could do engineering, I suppose. Design city defences, that sort of thing.

[Everything else sounds dull, not very him, or both.]

[Oh my god, he's not arguing or going against what she wants. He's just...going along with it. Her mouth flops open, then clamps shut. And then she grins, giving an eager nod of her head.]

Engineering it is, then. Sounds perfect.

[And if he's good at designing and building things this go around, she's got something else he can bide his time with, too.]

Think you might be able to help me build a greenhouse in the garden, while you're at it? I've been wanting one for a while now.

[Well, since the dangerous options are also the most soldier-y options, it makes sense to pick something neutral, like engineering. Don't get too used to this sort of thing, Clara.]

A greenhouse? And where are you going to get the materials for it, if the city's in the middle of a war?

I can grow trees from nothing. In a matter of minutes. Seconds if I've got enough energy going for me.

[Okay, like thirty or forty five seconds, but who's keeping track? ~~She is. She has a journal she keeps of her growth times.~~]

Lumber's taken care of, and I can find ways to get the other things I need. [She's both clever and resourceful, Doctor. You should know this.]

I need a better place to organize the fruit and vegetables I grow, so I can get them out to the city food supplies.

Mm. If you can get your hands on some old windowframes, we might be able to rig up a structure out of those. Then it's just a matter of all of the internal systems - ventilation, heating, and the like.

[Yeah, the Doctor knows how to build a greenhouse. What? You pick up a lot of information over the course of two thousand years.]

[Excited by the prospect of his helping her, she gives a bounce, clapping her hands before she moves forward to lean over and place a kiss to his cheek.]

Thank you, Doctor.

[It's not hard to make Clara actually happy. Give her a library full of books, make her a greenhouse. Congratulations, Doctor. You've got one energetically happy Clara Oswald on your hands.}

[He tries not to look too dazed as he brushes his fingertips against where she just kissed his cheek.]

Just consider it part of my contribution to helping people 'round here out, yeah? Got to keep everyone fed, after all.

Right. Just part of your contribution.

[She smiles knowingly, giving a soft laugh as she watches him touch at his cheek.]

Still gonna grow you a basketful of fruit as a thank you. Anything in particular your new tastebuds like or don't find appealing?

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