asgardmeridiem | [CLOSED] I'm sorry I wasn't better...

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[CLOSED] I'm sorry I wasn't better...

Who: Shou and Karu
What: Saying goodbye
When: Night - Day 173
Where: Hospital
Rating: PG-13 for Shou's mouth

Shou would be a complete mess by the time he reached the hospital, lingering outside to avoid anyone seeing him like this...

He was crying. He'd seen Nakama's goodbye post and just... lost it. It hadn't even occurred to him that this was the war the Gods had brought them here to fight. He just thought insane shit like this happened every month or so. If this was really goodbye... There was a lot he had to say.

He sent a message to Karu, waiting outside the doors for the blonde to find him.

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"Why quicksand? 'Cause 'm good at suckin'?" Stay classy, Shou.

No, it was probably because Karu had struggled to get away and that had only made it worse, but it was probably best that Shou didn't make that connection.

"...Effort?" Oh, so he wasn't getting laid tonight?

"Oh c'mon now..." He nudged Karu back against one of the walls of the hospital, placing a hand on the wall above the boy's shoulder. Between a rock and a hard place, perhaps? "Wha' if this's our las' night, huh? Y' don' wanna have a li'l fun?" Said the grungy farmhand as another one of the dying was swept past them into the hospital.

Oh yeah. Sexy.

Even Shou couldn't deny the complete and utter un-sexiness of the situation. He sighed, pulling back from the wall and scratching the back of his neck.

"Yeah... Alrigh'." He looked up at the sky, thinking. "...Nakama's sleepin' at th' Arena. We kin... go there."

"Good at sucking? Come now, have some self-respect. You do not suck that bad, just when you're losing your temper."

He poked his tongue out.

"Surly Shou."

When pressed up against the wall, Karu just stared up at the larger man: no fighting, no protest, just silence.

"Why not just talk instead? If you want to go to Nakama, I won't stop you. But I can't rest."

"I was talkin' 'bout suckin' dick, darlin'." Shou could be uncomfortably blunt when he wanted, and then also impossibly distant and confusing. Could Karu ever win?

The admission that Karu wouldn't be able to rest wasn't a strange one. It was unlikely any of them would. The strange request came in the form of... wanting to talk. Did anyone really want to have conversations with Shou, as lewd and confusing as they could be?

"...Y' got a place in mind?" If he didn't want to go to the arena and sleep, what did he want? ~~Chocolate milk and stargazing, perhaps?~~

Fabulous. Thank you, Shou.

"Wh―" He shook his head, effectively flustered.

"You are horrible. The worst, listen to you..." Even Karuika smiled though. He laughed, he turned away. For a moment, everything felt simple again. And just like that, he began to walk away, expecting Shou to follow him without any other indication at first.

At least until he looked back to check for the farmhand. He tilted his head as if to ask, are you coming?

Even when Karu was telling him he was the worst and how terrible he was... even Shou could feel that sense of normal simplicity that had eluded them for so many months. It was... such a relief.

Of course he would follow, even going so far as to reach out and take the blonde boy's hand. Had he ever done that before? Somehow it just... felt like the right thing to do.

He'd always wanted to have moments like this... A quiet walk, holding hands and just... enjoying the feeling of being around each other. How long had it been since he'd had this? Had he ever?

"...'s uh... it feels nice t' hold yer hand." This whole war thing was doing wonders for his romantic side.

"Huh?" The feel of Shou's hand clutching his seemed to catch him by surprise. With his clothes as ripped up as they were, his gloves fared no better.

"I... Why? That will slow us down." He smiled, but his voice went quiet. It was easier to ask about Shou's motives and feelings than it was to ask if he felt gross. Looking at his scarred skin was one thing he could slowly get used to. Feeling it, though? Touching it on purpose? "I thought you were a man of actions."

Nevermind that hand-holding counted as an action, technically.

Sure, the skin felt a little... odd. Not soft and smooth, but rather strange and uneven. He'd seen the blonde naked once before, so the scars weren't completely unknown to him...

That didn't mean he wasn't slightly put off by them, however, but he wasn't showing that right now.

"I might not get to after t'morrow." A simple enough motive to hold one's hand, no?

"Action?" Sure holding hands was an action, technically, but did he make that connection? No. So... he stopped, not letting go of Karu's hand, which likely tugged the boy backwards if he tried to keep going.

Without a word, he yanked the boy backwards into his arms, scooping him up in his arms with a minimum of effort. "How's tha' fer action."

With Karu well in hand, he turned around, heading back in the direction of the hospital. "Y' remember th' festival?"

"So this is how you would spend your last day." Is that what drove Shou to consider suicide? Just ... loneliness? His grip remained fairly loose, but he did not reject the redhead's hand. "No matter what, we go home. Win or lose the war."

At least, that was his belief. Home to his life, or home to the end of existence. Home was fairly abstract to him.

"M'yeah, action. If you fumble with words, you have to be great at action." But before he could say anything else, he found jerked backwards. Karu, unfortunately, was one of instinct, so his first impulse was to struggle and try to whip his hand out of Shou's. His wrist crackled, but ultimately he wouldn't get away.

Instead, he sat in Shou's arms. Just as planned?

"I... I remember the festival." No, be stronger. "Of course I remember the festival!" ... Too strong. Too nervous.

He failed to see the connection between Karu's remark about his last day... and his attempted suicide.

"I don' fumble wit' words." Lies. Lies and slander. His entire speech pattern was fumbling around until communication sort of happened.

And yet, here was Karu, fumbling. The farmhand grinned.

"Don' get too excited, darlin'." He shouldered past a few of the hospital staff into the hectic entryway of the house of medicine, heading straight for the stairwell.

Where on earth..?

It wouldn't take long to reach the roof, carrying the blonde out into the cold night.

"Hah..." He breathed. "...Y' remember when we watched th' stars up here?"

"Aren't you certain." He nudged his thumb in his mouth, picking between his front teeth. "Should I say struggle or simply fail?"

Teasing aside, he looked up to the star-splashed sky. The soft light softened the harsh color of his eyes and highlighted his freckled face. Without a word, he slung his legs out of Shou's hold and touched down on the ground himself.

He nodded; of course he remembered.

The farmhand reluctantly let the warm blonde depart from his arms, immediately feeling the chill of the air where his body had once been. Without even really realizing it, he stepped behind the boy to drape his arms around the smaller male's shoulders, seeking that warmth.

As self-destructive as he'd been, as many ties as he'd screamed to be left alone or drunk himself to sleep... Now he wanted to cuddle?

Without feeling the pressure of the future, his actions were... genuine. This was truly how he'd spend his last night on earth. The morning would bring assumed failure... and their departure.

"D'you think... y' could ever..." His voice was soft, disturbing the chilling quiet of the roof and night sky. "...say y' love me."

He swallowed audibly. "...Y' don' even gotta mean it."

Shou... You have a very unique ability. It is called putting people in a very bad or awkward position, one way or another. He closed his eyes, letting the taller man rest over him without a sound.

"Too cliché, isn't it...? Romance." He breathed the last word and brought a hand up to Shou's arm. He refuted real love when it came to himself. It was another person's game. "Can I tell―"

No. Don't ask for permission, tell him like it is. "Let me tell you something first."

In order to suck so badly at talking, he had be good at something right? Making people uncomfortable was a skill!

The problem was that he'd never been in a healthy relationship. Ever. Aside from the relationship he'd had with his mother, every other interaction in his life was augmented by sex, alcohol, lies, or a mixture of the three. In a way, his ability to gauge a situation in which he was genuinely longing for affection was... irreparably broken.

And then Karu started talking in that roundabout, complicated way he tended to when he was avoiding the question. He'd be able to feel Shou's posture sagging over him, probably in assumed rejection. If nothing else, at least he was being quiet so Karu could continue.

As much as it hurt to feel the other male slipping and slumping over him, Karu steeled himself. The only indication that he had been jarred at all was a hitch of his breath.

"Sometimes I envy you. You know?"

Edited (DRAGGING IT OUT FOR FEELS??) 2013-02-03 19:04 (UTC)

"Bullshit." He grumbled, obviously a little stung that Karu hadn't mindlessly gone along with his unreasonable request.

"I ain't got nothin' any man should want."

He hesitated, but shook his head.

"You don't know that. You asked me that so easily...

People like me spend years building up walls to protect ourselves. People like you? You build them, and they seem impenetrable. Unbreakable." You know. In case Shou didn't know that first big word. "Like those castles your mother told you about."

Slinging his arms over the railing, he looks out. "Then you get scared or lonely, and you can tear them all down with nothing but with a bottle of fire liquid. Suddenly you have all this courage, all this passion, a way to be a complete asshole and all the freedom in the world to let go. Then, come morning, it was like a fleeting dream. I hate it... but I envy that."

Now he knew he might be asking for Shou to invite him out drinking. 'Of course, darlin', I'll teach ya! Why didn't y'say so sooner! Bet this'll get y' to loosen up.' He can hear it already. And preemptively he envies that too. Ignorance is bliss.

He's sweet, really. Even a little bit endearing. Dumb as a brick wall, though.

Edited 2013-02-05 22:24 (UTC)

Of course, his immediate instinct is that Karu is talking about literal walls. He's perplexed, trying to figure out where Karu has been hiding a wall all this time. Shou once built a rock wall, but that was just to put some rocks to use that he'd dug out of the field... Thankfully, he didn't voice his confusion, letting Karu finish.

Fire liquid..? Oh, right. He'd forgotten the nickname Karu had given to bourbon. And like clockwork, Shou piped up.

"Well, darlin', yer allowed t' drink too. Hell, we kin go righ' now, I'll pay." Like fucking clockwork. He remains blissfully unaware of how predictable he is. "Ain't jus' me... e'erybody gets a li'l full o' themselves when they're drinkin'."

Karu's expression reflects none of the injury he feels. Trying to force the blonde to lose himself in alcohol would be like trying to force Shou to enter a smart-person contest. Not impossible, but it would yield disastrous results and in the end, everyone would be worse off. Both of them can be pretty self-defeating.

"I knew you were going to ask me that. Though... I was expecting you to grab me and make it clear to me that you wanted something after, too. Sorry... I'll pass. On both counts!"

His smile falters and he backs up. "I envy it. Honestly. But me? I always had to have it together when all the drunkards start drooling and sobbing and―"

He stops and hops up onto the railing, slinging his legs over the side. Not that he plans to jump, but let him have his stupid nervous quirks.

Edited (idk wehhhh) 2013-02-07 20:32 (UTC)

He huffs in irritation. Karu is refusing him pretty firmly... Does he have to reiterate that they won't be drinking or fucking on their last night? He grumbles to himself, pulling away some.

"Maybe tha's yer problem. Y' gotta loosen up." He eyes Karu's stance on the railing warily. It doesn't seem like he's going to jump, but Shou's muscles are tensed, prepared to grab him should he push away from the edge.

"Pff, I tried it once or twice..." He glances back over his shoulder, crossing his legs. "I got sick from these... fruit wines. They're called coolers here." Yes, he really is that much of a lightweight. Yes, everyone can laugh at him. Whether he'll hear it or not is another story.

[There's no possible way he can hide that derisive snort of laughter, looking down at his feet after as if to pretend he hadn't done it.]

You uh... e'er had a strawberry... [Give him a minute.] ...dah-kur-ee? [He's trying okay.]

Daiquiri. And yes...

[ He hunches a little. It takes him a moment, but naturally he realizes: Shou meant a strawberry daiquiri with alcohol, didn't he? Karu steels himself for more laughter. ]

... Virgin.

V- [He cuts himself off, giving an exasperated sigh.]

Tha' don' count! Thas jus'... like... strawberry water.

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2/2 I NEED MY ICONS FREED UP AHH

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no suitable icons what forgive meeeee

oh i GUESS i forgive you..!

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these two morons

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1/2 okay so my paid expired, the icon not really fitting... MY NEUTRAL ONES ARE GONE WEHH

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STILL NO PAID, I'M CRY

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