[CLOSED] I'm sorry I wasn't better...

[burningcreator]

Who: Shou and Karu
What: Saying goodbye
When: Night - Day 173
Where: Hospital
Rating: PG-13 for Shou's mouth


Shou would be a complete mess by the time he reached the hospital, lingering outside to avoid anyone seeing him like this...

He was crying. He'd seen Nakama's goodbye post and just... lost it. It hadn't even occurred to him that this was the war the Gods had brought them here to fight. He just thought insane shit like this happened every month or so. If this was really goodbye... There was a lot he had to say.

He sent a message to Karu, waiting outside the doors for the blonde to find him.

Comments

[burningcreator]

"Bullshit." He grumbled, obviously a little stung that Karu hadn't mindlessly gone along with his unreasonable request.

"I ain't got nothin' any man should want."

these two morons

[hushedpenance]

He hesitated, but shook his head.

"You don't know that. You asked me that so easily...

People like me spend years building up walls to protect ourselves. People like you? You build them, and they seem impenetrable. Unbreakable." You know. In case Shou didn't know that first big word. "Like those castles your mother told you about."

Slinging his arms over the railing, he looks out. "Then you get scared or lonely, and you can tear them all down with nothing but with a bottle of fire liquid. Suddenly you have all this courage, all this passion, a way to be a complete asshole and all the freedom in the world to let go. Then, come morning, it was like a fleeting dream. I hate it... but I envy that."

Now he knew he might be asking for Shou to invite him out drinking. 'Of course, darlin', I'll teach ya! Why didn't y'say so sooner! Bet this'll get y' to loosen up.' He can hear it already. And preemptively he envies that too. Ignorance is bliss.

He's sweet, really. Even a little bit endearing. Dumb as a brick wall, though.

[burningcreator]

Of course, his immediate instinct is that Karu is talking about literal walls. He's perplexed, trying to figure out where Karu has been hiding a wall all this time. Shou once built a rock wall, but that was just to put some rocks to use that he'd dug out of the field... Thankfully, he didn't voice his confusion, letting Karu finish.

Fire liquid..? Oh, right. He'd forgotten the nickname Karu had given to bourbon. And like clockwork, Shou piped up.

"Well, darlin', yer allowed t' drink too. Hell, we kin go righ' now, I'll pay." Like fucking clockwork. He remains blissfully unaware of how predictable he is. "Ain't jus' me... e'erybody gets a li'l full o' themselves when they're drinkin'."

1/2 okay so my paid expired, the icon not really fitting... MY NEUTRAL ONES ARE GONE WEHH

[hushedpenance]

Karu's expression reflects none of the injury he feels. Trying to force the blonde to lose himself in alcohol would be like trying to force Shou to enter a smart-person contest. Not impossible, but it would yield disastrous results and in the end, everyone would be worse off. Both of them can be pretty self-defeating.

"I knew you were going to ask me that. Though... I was expecting you to grab me and make it clear to me that you wanted something after, too. Sorry... I'll pass. On both counts!"

[hushedpenance]

His smile falters and he backs up. "I envy it. Honestly. But me? I always had to have it together when all the drunkards start drooling and sobbing and―"

He stops and hops up onto the railing, slinging his legs over the side. Not that he plans to jump, but let him have his stupid nervous quirks.

[burningcreator]

He huffs in irritation. Karu is refusing him pretty firmly... Does he have to reiterate that they won't be drinking or fucking on their last night? He grumbles to himself, pulling away some.

"Maybe tha's yer problem. Y' gotta loosen up." He eyes Karu's stance on the railing warily. It doesn't seem like he's going to jump, but Shou's muscles are tensed, prepared to grab him should he push away from the edge.

STILL NO PAID, I'M CRY

[hushedpenance]

"Pff, I tried it once or twice..." He glances back over his shoulder, crossing his legs. "I got sick from these... fruit wines. They're called coolers here." Yes, he really is that much of a lightweight. Yes, everyone can laugh at him. Whether he'll hear it or not is another story.

[burningcreator]

[There's no possible way he can hide that derisive snort of laughter, looking down at his feet after as if to pretend he hadn't done it.]

You uh... e'er had a strawberry... [Give him a minute.] ...dah-kur-ee? [He's trying okay.]

[hushedpenance]

Daiquiri. And yes...

[ He hunches a little. It takes him a moment, but naturally he realizes: Shou meant a strawberry daiquiri with alcohol, didn't he? Karu steels himself for more laughter. ]

... Virgin.

1/2

[burningcreator]

V- [He cuts himself off, giving an exasperated sigh.]

Tha' don' count! Thas jus'... like... strawberry water.

2/2

[burningcreator]

[He folds his arms, settling them on the railing where Karu is sitting, looking down at the people milling around on the street below.]

...If y' could have anythin' righ' now, wha' would y' wan'?

[Careful, Shou. That almost sounded thoughtful and intelligent. Better fix it.] ...Y' could always jus' bend over the railin' here, I'd give y' somethin' good... [Much better.]

1/2

[hushedpenance]

I like it that way. It counts.

[ He seethes a little. Sensitive subject matter. ]

Better than fire liquid that tastes like fermented vomit...

2/2

[hushedpenance]

[ And just as he settles to consider it, Shou ruins everything. He scoffs, briefly injured, but it dissipates soon after. Now he has to shoot this line of thought down again! The one time he would have had a direct answer for you!! HONESTLY. ]

... Called it already. [ Remember the answer being no? ] But I admire your tenac..it...y.

[ ... Gradual realization of a bigword slip-up. ]

I mean... I admire your, eh, very strong will. You said you weren't going to present that again... Shifting Shou? Eh... no, that nickname is a stretch. Not-So-Subtle Shou. Never-Subtle-Shou.

[burningcreator]

[He huffs at the big words and nicknames, pouting a little when he turns his head to look at the blonde.]

Y' didn' answer th' question. I was jus' throwin' out ideas. [Yeah. Sure.]

[hushedpenance]

You never gave me the chance to answer.

[ He chews on his lip and nudges his thumbnail into his teeth: all nervous habits. ]

... Besides, you would probably laugh.

[burningcreator]

Wha', y' wanna swim in a pool full o' kittens or somethin'?

[Not that Shou has ever wanted to do that with baby pigs of course. Nope. Never.]

[hushedpenance]

... Hm, more than anything~! How did you guess? [ The exhale that follows causes his shoulders to sag. Really, Shou? ]

You're such a jerk... you know? [ Then, more fondly: ] Terrible.

[burningcreator]

[He looks a little proud of himself at Karu's sarcastic response. He genuinely... seems to think that Karu was being serious.]

[So of course he looks extra hurt when Karu says he's a jerk.] W-wha'..?

[He's dumb. SEND HELP.]

[hushedpenance]

[ . . . ]

I was n...ot being serious...

[burningcreator]

Alrigh', look. [Sorry Karu, he's running you over because he has serious shit to say.]

I can' git ya a pool full o' kittens, but I kin prolly find ya at leas' one kitten in short order.

...Would tha' make y' happy? [It's... laughable how serious he looks.]

[hushedpenance]

Shou...

[ Oh. Run over again. ]

Shou, w― [ He's still not listening? ] Shou...    Shou...

[ He takes a deep breath, speaking quickly, loudly, to get a word in. ] Shou I meant I was never serious about the pool of cats.

[burningcreator]

[He pouts.]

...Then how 'm I s'pposed t' make you happy? [His voice gets quiet as he asks this, avoiding Karu's eyes. He's... genuinely hurt, isn't he? Happiness is such a confusing, fleeting emotion, yet he desires so strongly to give it.]

[hushedpenance]

... You asked what I wanted if I could have anything. Not... what would make me happy.

[ He looks over his shoulder at the man, then back out over the shambles of Asgard. Of course he knows he'll have to explain himself to Shou. ]

What I wish for and... what would make me happy aren't always the same, you know..?

[burningcreator]

...Wha'?

Why not?

[Karu should have seen that coming, really. He probably did, but said it anyway, not that Shou picked up on that.]

Don' y' wish y had wha' makes y' happy?

[hushedpenance]

Maybe so. [ Which is to say, of course, but wanting something and actually getting it are two different beasts. ]

... If I could have anything? ... My name. I want to know my real name. I might not gain anything from knowing-- it might even end up hurting more than if I never knew. [ He holds his breath, waiting, daring Shou to laugh at him. It's stupid, it's pointless.

He knows. ]