[closed] the only road I've ever been down

[likethelight]

Who: Allen Walker and Kaworu Nagisa
What: fruition of this. jesusy exorcists and angels meeting. and pastries. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG.
When: day 165
Where: Bakery near Sigyn hall
Rating: PG-PG-13?


[The bakery he'd mentioned was a short distance from the Sigyn hall; just a small sort of shop, really. Easy enough to find, though. ...The white-haired boy in a black and red uniform with the scarred face and a golden golem on his shoulder waiting outside helps in terms of being recognizable, though. Leaned up against the wall with a brown paper sack in white gloved (always gloved) hands.

...And a long black cloak with a hood pulled up that mostly keeps him dry. Though he does try not to sigh about or pull too sour a face at it; he really hadn't been counting on it raining this day after he'd had to put it off so long (honestly, he felt really bad about it)...

His luck...

But the golem flicks its wings after for a moment, snapping the rainwater out of them and peering its head (body?) closer to Allen's.] ... Mm.

[Idly petting it a little and letting his eyes close.] I know, Tim.

[—funny, you'd think it (him?) had... spoken to him.

It's alright. Nothing to do about it now.

So they were just waiting for Kaworu. Slightly melancholic despite having warm scones so close at hand, but that's more for feeling guilty about the last few days and postponing.

...But he'd made sure to try and get here early, after all, so he could pour on all his charm and score some of the day's extra pastries on the house. Occasionally he knows how charming he can be. Occasionally.]

Comments

[5thchild]

[ of course he doesn't.

Kaworu keeps walking up ahead, slipping his hands into his pockets. At this point, Allen is free to come along or leave if he wishes to, both options are fine with kaworu ]

[likethelight]

[He won't, he was just sulking for a moment for feeling like an idiot. Just as he's already let that go again by the time he's caught up to him, watching Kaworu a little quietly from the corner of his eye.] ...

It's strange.

[But the way he says that is like he doesn't mean it's strange at all. Almost the opposite.]

You don't hesitate with anything you do, do you?

[5thchild]

I have no hesitations in my heart. I accept my feelings, and I accept the world around me. I have no fear, thus, I do not need to hesitate. [ he means "no fear" quite literally. Kaworu has no self-preservation instincts. ]

[likethelight]

[Ah...

He's quiet, considering that. (Even Timcanpy atop his head much like a small hat or ornament stills his wings a little.)

Peaceably so, though.]

It sounds nice.

[5thchild]

It's different.

[ kaworu is different from humans. It's only natural for him to be like this. It's unnatural for humans. ] Pain and loneliness exist in the hearts of the Lilim. Always. They cannot be erased for Men is fundamentally alone.

They fear those, thus they hesitate and feel insecure; they do not wish to feel them, so they think everything over and aim to avoid them. It's difficult for them to accept that such things are part of everyone's nature, including Angels.

1/2

[likethelight]

["Fundamentally alone..."

There's just the sound of footsteps and gently falling rain for a moment. Eyes ahead. He should probably not speak so bluntly in a situation like this, but...]

You're right, it hurts. [Speaking gently but calmly.] Sometimes it hurts a lot, and it's hard. [It's not really something one can say without know just how badly it can hurt. Over and over and then over again.

However. He continues on a bit more clearly.]

But I can't accept that, because that's not all it is, too. [We don't have to be fundamentally alone.] It can be dismissed easily, maybe, because of that. But it's because it hurts and people overcome that—

2/2

[likethelight]

[...]

There's nothing stronger. [It's said quietly, but with certainty, looking over his shoulder back at Kaworu.] The hearts of people. Even when they're despairing, it's with such a strength of feeling.

That even though they can despair, they can overcome that again and keep believing and moving forward even when it's hard to.

[Soft, serious conviction.]

I can't not respect that.

[It's why he loves humanity, after all. And feels that (and everything) himself so very, very strongly. It's faith.]

Because of that I have to believe that no one has to be alone forever.

[5thchild]

Rather than "being alone", it's "feeling alone". This feeling will always exist, even if for a second. You can fade it, and you do with the bonds you create.

[ however, kaworu agrees with everything else. ]

The hope that people will understand each other and the hope people will love one another. These are hopes Lilim hold on to, and that, one day, won't be just hopes. You are still far too young, but you can do it.

You can be happy.


It's because you can be happy that you deserve to live.

[ Allen, in a way, is everything that makes Kaworu certain his choice of dying for the Lililm was the right one ]

[likethelight]

[He... side-steps that to focus on something else. Because Kaworu said it before and something about it bothers him.]

You keep saying "deserve to live"... [It's a very odd choice of words.]

[5thchild]

Don't you think? [ Kaworu glances over his shoulder to look at Allen with a smile. ]

[likethelight]

Of course. [A blink.]

It's just strange that that would ever be a question.

[5thchild]

[ Kaworu smiles softly ]

Because Lilim and Angels cannot coexist. Only one can live on a planet.

[likethelight]

But...

[It's dawning. A little, which is why he's hesitating. But more that—]

You're both, aren't you?

[5thchild]

I am not part of the Lilim. This body is human, however, I am still an Angel. I lack everything that makes you "Lilim", and I am everything that makes me "Angel".

[likethelight]

I don't understand.

Didn't you say humans are Lilim? [It's a strange word to keep using to call them, but people here can come from very strange places so he didn't think much of it. Just that he did presume it was interchangeable.]

[5thchild]

They are. But you see... [ how to explain this ]

If a baby is born without a leg, they are still human, even though humans have two legs. So, it's not just the body; what makes a human a "human", Allen?

[likethelight]

[He thinks he does.]

The soul, you mean.

[5thchild]

[ there is a small nod ] My soul is not the same as Lilim's souls. I carry the soul of Adam, the First Angel.

[likethelight]

[It is very good Allen doesn't know the first "apostle"'s name is Adam. Noah. The Earl.

That'd probably send a lot of guards up.]

But if you can't exist with humans [ah—] "Lilim"...

[He pauses, a little troubled.]

Why can't they coexist?

[5thchild]

There are two Seeds of Life. The Fruit of Knowledge and the Fruit of Life. These beings create life on new planets. [ Kaworu looks up, eyes searching - and hoping to find - the moon ]

The children of Lilith, the Fruit of Knowledge are gifted with "development"; they have the possibility to master scientific knowledge and developed civilization. For that reason, not only Humans are part of Lilim. Even wolves form packs. Even plants grow together.

The Children of Adam, the Fruit of Life are gifted with vast powers and strength. While we do not develop, we have imaginable power that no being, part of Lilim, would ever reach. [ so strong they can actually mindrape people. ]

In a planet, there could only be one Seed of Life, for no creature could nor should possess both of these halves. If it did, it would possess power on-par with that of what Humans call "God". [ super powerful to unimaginable extend, plus with ability to grow and develop. Not only they would be "Gods", they would be dangerous ]

[likethelight]

[Looking over and pausing. Considering, even if that's a wall things to process at once, and certainly there are many people far more intelligent and far more eloquent than him, but...]

That doesn't explain why they can't both live side by side. [Separately, not as a combined being.

To hear it explained like that, both would seem equally of value, equally important to Allen.]

[5thchild]

It's impossible.

When a Seed arrives to a new planet, it fills it with its blood. Two seeds filling the same planet with their blood would lead to create beings that held the power of both Seeds, Knowledge and Life.

[likethelight]

[And yet there's you, and he can only presume humans existed too to talk of them like that.

But knowledge, life, seeds...

—oh.

Allen's the worst excuse of a member of the Vatican (labeled a suspected heretic, although for different reasons) and doesn't care for that sort of thing, but even he recognizes a bit of that.]

It sounds similar to something told in my world.

[5thchild]

[ kaworu is a special thing, alright.

Kaworu smiles ]

Religion, right? [ oh, kaworu knows. He knows it very well. His siblings' names all held religious names. Even his own Angel name was.

However, it's not that they were inspired on religion; religion was inspired on them. ]

[likethelight]

Mm. Yes. [Though by the way he says it, it's not of a particular attachment.]

I'm glad it's different here, though.