asgardmeridiem | Music expresses that which cannot be said [Closed]

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Music expresses that which cannot be said [Closed]

Who: Kaworu Nagisa and Allen Walker
What: Pianos and creating music
When: By the end of the day 244, after Allen is off work.
Where: Theater
Rating: B for bittersweet

[ Kaworu sent a simple text message to Allen.

"Hello :) would you like to come to the theater?"

He still uses smileys Jade taught him. And he goes on with his duties - cleaning up the theater since he is a janitor - and when he is done, Kaworu waits for Allen in front of the theater's door, watching the people passing by and the clouds high in the sky. ]

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[ Heh...

Allen just smiles a little at that, before dropping his gaze back to the keys and moving his hands to follow. Glad for or maybe even a little amused by that, since it isn't like that surprises him at all, after all.

But what memories of the (a?) Musician were already awakened in him weren't removed. Not when they became part of him. So even if he's not sure entirely what he's doing, his hands are. So it's like an easy and old thing to follow Kaworu, as soon as he's heard the note. Slow at first and then with more certainty. ]

[ Kaworu smiles as Allen follows and once they have gotten halfway of the song, he speaks again ]

Before, I played piano with Link. He said he couldn't play, so all he could do was pressing the keys.

Even though I was playing something I already knew, and even thought Link didn't really mean to play anything in particular, in the end a melody I have never heard before was created.

It was easy, with him. [ but alone, it was very difficult for Kaworu. It took him a month to create something this small and actually rather simple. ] So I wondered, what if it's not as difficult as it looks?

[ Kaworu turns to look at Allen, a bit unimpressed. ]

That was wishful thinking. It really was very difficult.

[ Ah --

Allen still follows along, but ] But you made something that came from your heart anyway, right?. [ It had to have; what Kaworu had said before. "Saudade". Why Allen had asked to learn it.

He smiles a little more gently, glancing towards Kaworu briefly. ]

To me, it seems a difficult thing to do regardless.

Doesn't that make it worth it?

[ Kaworu looks at Allen for a moment, smiling softly - yet brightly and so glad - after. He nods ]

I think so. I know it's small and rather simple - but this song, my creation.

I'm very glad I was able to do it, even if it was very difficult.

[ Smiling a little to himself at that, Allen's eyes flicker from Kaworu to his hands on the keys; how they move. Watching and learning from that. ]

I'm not surprised you could. [ He really isn't. It's actually the most oddly straightforward, simple thing to Allen. ]

But I'm really glad you showed me. [ Because it's so bittersweet but so Kaworu. Which is sad, but so very special, too. Important. And playing like this... ]

I think it's very special.

[ He has to pause in between speaking, like it's a hard thing to do both at once, because of listening to the melody. Listening, but not just with his ears, and more like feeling it. It's strange. It's how it's ever been for him with music like this, since the Ark and playing for the first time.

That's why it's important.

And with it being over, he lets his hands linger on the keys so he can look up and smile properly at him. ]

Thank you.

Edited 2013-04-04 23:01 (UTC)

[ Kaworu knows Allen doesn't really understand why the angel always said he could not create. He doesn't know what it means not to have the Fruit of Knowledge and he has never met the Angels (it's a good thing he didn't, because it'd mean something bad for this world) and how they are.

Kaworu, however - he is a ball of contradictions, things that aren't meant to exist, yet they do deep inside him. He is a hybrid. And while not human, he has many human characteristics.

Creation is and always will be very hard for Kaworu - yet if he tries hard he can make it. That makes him happy. ]

Thank you for listening. [ he smiles wider and gently Kaworu presses his head against Allen's shoulder to rest it there. One of his hand drops, but the other remains on the piano keys. ]

Link doesn't remember me. Should I move out? I imagine it'll be weird for him to live with a stranger in a strange place.

[ Ah, that's... ]

[ Wait, what.

He startles a little with a jerky movement, not enough to dislodge Kaworu or at least he doesn't mean to, but it's at what he said and not what he did. ]

Of course not! [ A little concerned, and he's craning his head a little to try and see him better. ]

Just because -- [ Still blinking for a moment, and his expression keeps flickering. Baffled -- and maybe a little distraught, too. ]

-- just because of that you don't have to leave. He didn't know you before either, did he? It's strange for everyone at first --

[ He's trying not to turn towards him but Allen -- kind of is. It's out of being quite suddenly rather earnest and fidgety. ]

He just has to get to know you again. And me too. [ And Allen too so don't say that. ] That's all.

Edited 2013-04-05 07:07 (UTC)

[ kaworu blinks, rising his head to look at Allen. he honestly doesn't understand why Allen would even be concerned about it - it was a logical suggestion.

Ah, but-

Allen's words at the end-

"Me too".

They are all it matters now. ]

Does it hurt you, that he doesn't remember?

[ ?? ]

Ah, no...

It's not like that. [ That part is awkward, but he wouldn't say it hurts Allen. ]

Edited 2013-04-05 07:24 (UTC)

[ Hesitating, he lets his hands cross in his lap.

It's a smile, but -- a nervous quirk of one. One that doesn't reach his eyes. ]

Link's the one that's harder on, I think.

I think so as well. I imagine it must be difficult for one to be recognized by other people but not having any recollection of them. Or of what happened before.

[ that's why Kaworu asked if he should move out ]

What you have lived with him, here - do you want him to know? Do you want to attempt redoing those times?

[ Ah... he shakes his head a little. That's not quite what Allen meant.

Allen's the one Link's going to have the hardest time trusting. Again. Not Kaworu. For reasons beyond just gaps in one's memory.

But he smiles more gently at that. ]

There isn't much point in redoing the past, is there? [ Honestly, he'd worried more for Link as he had been, even if he had come to trust Allen more.

Maybe not hearing of his death this time... maybe that'd help. ]

Link will do what Link does. [ Gentle but certain: ] I'm the only one he'll have a problem with. [ An actual problem. Living with people they don't know... that kind of barely registers as anything of any concern or actual bother for Order members. Their lives... it kind of puts everything into perspective like that. Asgard itself is a luxury cakewalk of mundane normal affairs by comparison. Honestly, it's something they're more like to chafe under for the lack of conflict.

But: ] It'll be alright.

It'll just take a little time.

Edited 2013-04-05 07:50 (UTC)

Why will he have a problem with you? [ kaworu tilts his head curiously ]

[ Allen just --

...

He smiles. Gently; the hard to read sort. ]

I think I did something terrible.

Edited 2013-04-05 08:09 (UTC)

You "think"? [ Kaworu eyes Allen for a while. Kaworu isn't one to hold on to suppositions, that's why. But he would like to know what Allen thinks he did. ]

I don't have any memory of it.

[ It's said gently and calmy though; peaceable with it, almost. Even if with a terribly sad-sweet sort of smile. ]

Link remembers things I don't. Timothy did, too. [ And Tyki but Allen's not mentioning him. ]

I guess that means I'm from before their time. However that works.

Edited 2013-04-05 08:27 (UTC)

Are you afraid of what will happen?

[ Ah... ]

I'd like to think it doesn't have to at all. [ Happen, that is. Or that it's wrong and he'll never allow it.

But because it's what others believe already happened he can't begrudge them their doubts, too. ]

[ Turning towards Kaworu with a slightly more apologetic, if strained smile though. ]

It doesn't really matter.

From what Link believes I can't blame him for not trusting me. [ Again, that is. ] It's his job not to, I suppose.

Edited 2013-04-05 17:18 (UTC)

I think it matters. Because, even so, he cares for you and you care for him; if you didn't, the future would not worry you.

[ kaworu glances back at Allen ]

Have you talked to him about this?

[ Ah... Allen smiles, but scratches at his cheek a little. ]

It's a little more complicated than that...

[ ... ]

Link rarely speaks what it goes through his mind and heart and you often dismiss how big you might be inside someone's heart.

I think both of you should have a little more faith in each other. And yourselves.

[ That -- ]

[ He smiles. Maybe a little apologetic but soft. ]

It's rare for you to have an opinion like that.

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