asgardmeridiem | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: (Elder) Alice and open
What: After the school fire, Alice more or less blacked out and slept for a few days, only to wander out while hallucinating. She finally wakes up.
When: Day 422
Where: All over Asgard
Warnings: May have potential triggers or content warning here for mental illness (i.e. disassociation and hallucinating), but nothing fairly extreme. I just want to make that pretty clear, since these things can be sensitive in nature.

The rest of it seems to be a blur.

Or rather, a big, big blotch of black ink on paper, from a fountain pin onto white paper. It spreads and spreads, until the blinding white is consumed by black. Darkness. She feels herself falling and falling -- but there is no rabbit hole to speak of, just a sinking feeling until she hits something. Hard.

She had fallen off the bed, not that she would have noticed. In an lucid dream, Alice had staggered out of doorway, down a flight of stairs that seemed too endless for her memory, as if she was going further and further into darkness again. The ground was rumbling and in her mind, she envisioned snakes and wolves, climbing up a hill made of doll heads and skulls, past grey visions of figures with no faces to spare. "LOOK AT ME." She hears them screaming.

But in her mind, Alice had kept her head low, her head ringing as she staggered forward, bare feet hitting the cobbled stone street, as Alice was remembering something... something terribly vague. Triangles... shards. Absolutely hysteric! Glass? A vision of her arms red, black and white. Blood red. The rage box? No, that was left in Wonderland.

"Worry for others can end up damaging you, Alice."

She can still glance back to the Dollhouse now and see them glancing through the windows waiting for safety. But had she not gone through a window? No, that couldn't be it. She could recall smoke and climbing through a window, but it seems to blur. She was seven in that memory, not nineteen. Alice finally glances down at her hands, sure that there were shards of glass in them, but.

There's nothing. No burns, no scratches, no cuts. Nothing.

"I've could have sworn-"

She was consumed by her visions, which is, sadly, not terribly unusual for her. She flexes her trembling hands, turning them front to back to inspect them. Not a trace on her pale skin, nothing more than the sickly parlor of her skin and veins. Was it just her imagination running loose? It may take a few more moments, but Alice is currently pulling herself back up off the ground, clutching her head as the headache subsides.

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He may not realize it, but he's getting away with something that normally Alice would never, never allow.

For all of her hatred of touch, she doesn't violently retaliate, not like with Snape and Maglor a few days ago. But it isn't met without a bit of tension from Alice. She cringes, even if a very rational part of her knows he's not going to harm her.

Not this Hatter, not like the Hatter before who tore his own domain up and enslaving the children in Skool. She breathes, she holds her breath, and finally when Alice shrugs it off after battling a mass wave of confusion and fright, she releases her breath. She'll allow it, she really has no choice. After minutes of wracking in her brain where she could have came from, she is drawing a blank, "All right."

Do anything? Alice doesn't say anything beyond that aside from only quietly nodding her head.

Feeling that small cringe and as soon as Alice says something, Tarrant seems content to allow her hand to return to her side. If she could speak then certainly she didn't need him to tell her were to go at that moment, so it would certainly be up to her. Though he assumes that the all right means that she'll go to Heimdall to get some proper clothes and something to warm up before doing anything else.

Alice was certainly worrying him though. She seemed quite like she wasn't herself. "Something happened."

It wasn't a question so much as a statement. Something had happened to Alice and the hatter hadn't been there to help her, even after he had promised Alice that he would. "But you're alright, right?"

He is right, something has happened. Alice would say she isn't sure what it is, but that would be far from the truth. She braves it, just as she would each time, staying close to him as it would be on her terms. She's not sure anymore, but the first step would be to narrow down the problem and find out what caused it.

If anything ever cooperated with her and knowing her luck, it would be arduous. Alice convinces herself she has to put on a brave face, nodding as she does just to assure him the best way she can. She's used to it.

Or so she tells herself. "There's no harm done." Alice tries to assure him gently.

Or so she thinks. There's always a doubt.

"I will be fine, Hatter." It's not him, anyway. Alice just doesn't like being touched.

"Are you sure, because if there was then I could help."

After all he had been gifted with damage drain which had come in handy a few times when he accidentally pinned something the wrong way. It wasn't that he doubted Alice's strength, but that he wanted to do absolutely what he could for her.

If she knew and if it was a better day for Alice, it would have made her a little flustered. She frowns deeply, choking back a sniffle, wanting so badly to just cry at the offer. It's so very kind and Alice feels she's so very undeserving.

She braves it, putting on her brave face. Alice begins to fan at herself, as if that can make her fight back tears. It will pass. "No, no," He'll think of her- oh, hell. Alice forgot for the slightest moment who she was in the company with, "I don't think the mind can be mended that way."

"Ah, well maybe not, but I don't think there's anything that can other than the mind. But Alice did tell me a secret once when I asked about going mad."

Tarrant had gradually come to understand a few of the differences between the Alices, but to him they were still all very much Alice and as such still very important people.

"She said all the best people are."

They are similar but very different. This one, however, feared for her mind constantly, her own well being. What would she do if it became broken beyond recognition? She sniffs, she's starting to feel the light touch of tears down her cheeks. The coat is securely wrapped around her body as Alice very carefully, very tentatively allows her head to just... softly thump against him. She hates hugs, but at the moment, Alice won't be punching someone's face in over it.

"oop."

Well perhaps that wasn't what he should have said at all. He wasn't entirely sure as to what to do since Alice had made it apparent that she didn't care for being grabbed. Tarrant wanted to comfort her but he also ensured that she wouldn't feel trapped either, placing a hand carefully over hers as the other brushes her arm. Lowering his head a little so that his chin lightly touched the top of her head, he closed his eyes as their color started to change slightly. It was painful to see Alice like this, and Tarrant would certainly protect this Alice just as he would any.

"I have a fairy by my side
Which says I must not sleep,
When once in pain I loudly cried
It said "You must not weep"
If, full of mirth, I smile and grin,
It says "You must not laugh"
When once I wished to drink some gin
It said "You must not quaff".

When once a meal I wished to taste
It said "You must not bite"
When to the wars I went in haste
It said "You must not fight".

"What may I do?" at length I cried,
Tired of the painful task.
The fairy quietly replied,
And said "You must not ask".

Moral: "You mustn't.""

"I'm sorry," She manages to muster, trying to choke back a sob. She hates touch, absolutely loathes it. Yet Hatter, she feels, will be the only person to understand how she really feels. She isn't mad, not mad at all. Her mind wanders to Pyro's reassurance and even Will's comments to her how she shouldn't take on burdens. But Alice is a tired soul, very tired of these things happening to her. While she doesn't want an outright hug, it feels better, it helps.

"I want to go home! And sometimes I confess it's not Oxford! I wish I could go back to Wonderland, but-"

Like the moral was, she mustn't. Sometimes it's too strong, she just wants to turn inward to herself for the solutions. She has to be strong. "I am me, yes? I am still Alice, aren't I? I'll still be the same?"

"Absolutely. You are unequivocally, undoubtedly, conclusively, Alice. There's no way for you to be anyone but Alice."

No way for her to be someone else, something else, not she couldn't be that broken. Not Alice. She was stronger and muchier than anyone, so if anyone would surely stay themselves it was her.

"I'd know Alice anywhere, and you're Alice."

Hatter take a half step back so that he can look at her face, she was dreadfully upset and they would have to fix that. After all tea was no good if you were crying, tears are far too salty.

Eventually, Alice can wipe away her tears, feeling better, much more... whole. She had fought so hard to feel more herself again, to preserve her mind. Why should it be any different? A little flustered, but all the same, Alice is wiping her face dry, dark hair out of her face. She nods vigorously in agreement.

Of course she is. She'll be stable again.

"Oh, thank you, Hatter! You're a good friend!"

Good. Alice had found her muchness again This was certainly something that the hatter preferred to tears. Though as there's more movement with the ice continuing in the distance and several more people show up to investigate the crevaces not from from where they stood perhaps it was better for them to move somewhere else for the moment.

Though Tarrant smiles softly, "Alice has done much more."

She had pieced him together again had she not.

She would argue she has done nothing at all; although from what he had said to her, the vorpal blade, the Jabberwocky, and the white queen sound similar to what she had done in her Wonderland. Not quite. Alice offers a soft smile, knowing that she can't stay out here in the open for much longer. She'll go with him, because Hatter still has Alice's absolute trust.

She smiles softly back at him, nodding to herself, "Good." Is the only thing she can muster, shyly, as Alice is overwhelmed with an urge to offer a small pat on his hand. It's the closest she'll get to a hug.

"Anything for a friend."

"Yes, yes of course."

So each of them would do anything for the other apparently. Perhaps just being close helped each of them to hold themselves together and helped to mend the damage that had been done just a little. Even if neither of them were able to completely mend the wounds left by the past.

Which is why the hatter rarely reflected on what had already happened and continued to look to the present and the days to come. And currently was leading Alice back towards Heimdall.

"But before we do anything we must get Alice something to wear."

It wouldn't take him long to make something, and then they could figure out what they needed to do with what was happening.

Alice starts to open her mouth to protest. She would like to let him know that's completely unneeded; if she can somehow get back to Loki's district and back to her limited clothing. Yet ever since she left Hel, she feels cheated out of her belongings and her clothes.

She ducks her head, rather bashfully, rubbing the back of her neck as sign of her reluctance. "But Hatter-"

If she says now that it's not needed, her fear is that he'll be a little hurt, just like the last time. Obviously Hatter will have to meet the others in Asgard, "I- Of course. I suppose that's for the better, being in a nightgown is terribly indecent."

Her luck is terrible. She'll follow him back to Heimdall's district making a point to envelop herself in her jacket, covering part of her face -- her excuse it's cold.

"Yes, and my coat doesn't really fit Alice at all."

Cold, well then it was a good thing that it was a coat that he was able to give her and all the more reason to get something else to wear. After all being properly dressed would certain be warmer than running around in a nightgown under a coat. Though he would gladly go to Hel to get her clothes and belongings from there if she had simply asked.

He had gotten a rough idea of her measurements from their conversations and the times that he had seen Alice. And tying the belt around the coat made it a bit more concrete. Luckily there was one that he had already started at one point while waiting for someone to want a hat. So it wouldn't take him long at all to have something for her.

"And we'll have a warm cup of tea since it's cold."

She would argue that the size is absolutely perfect, even if it makes her feel smaller than she usually is. It helps, it's a bit warmer, if her bare feet weren't hitting the cobble stoned street every time she walked. Alice takes a small step closer after getting a bit lost in her thoughts. Tea sounds better than anything else right now, after passing through their fair share of ice.

Alice is holding up the over-sized sleeves to breathe into her hands to warm herself.

"Yes, that sounds lovely," Better than lovely. The simple things are often the best things, "I just wish I could remember why I'm here or what happened."

Besides the jacket there wasn't much that Tarrant could offer to help with warmth at the moment. The gloves he wore were certain worn and didn't do much in the way of warmth, really the only other thing was his hat since quite a bit of heat escaped from the head; but Alice would most likely object since she had barely accepted the jacket or help. Instead he'll be picking a way of sure footing the short distance to the welcome hall.

"I just got some too, for a hat that I made. And it's simple, Alice was having a nightmare."

Reaching the doors, Tarrant held them wide for Alice. It seemed that several others had taken refuge in their hall lately, but luckily the Hatter still very much had a room and bathroom to himself since the one next to him was vacant.

The warmth of being indoors surrounds her, like a soothing hug as she steps inside. Her cold feet on warmer ground as well as allowing herself to drop her shoulders lets her breathe out a sigh of relief. Apparently he's taken to her explanation well enough, much to her dismay. Alice decides to let it be, for now, wondering if it would be better to seek some wisdom or input into it from someone who understands.

She gazes back up from wiggling her toes on the ground, taking in a moment to glance around. She's only been in Freyr and Thor's house and Heimdall seems regal as much as she would expect it to be. She glances back up, only to break out in a small scurry to catch up, much like the child she used to be.

"Do you mean cloth, Hatter?"

"Tea. I made him a hat and he gave me tea. So I have plenty since I had just gotten some yesterday as well. I've had plenty of cloth and was going to give it to Alice as a present."

A new spring dress. Though spring had really passed and it was just going to be a small token of thanks for Alice helping the hatter to get everything when he had arrived in Asgard, but it seemed that Alice needed it now.

"Though I'll have to adjust it once Alice tries it on."

"I-" She attempts to speak, voicing her protest against having a dress made for her. Her fear would be that she would be rude in voicing her opposition. Alice burrows half of her face into his coat again, with a huff.

She feels like she can't win this argument, so she lets it be for now, following his every step into the house. Hatter is the only one she knows here and she'll be more comfortable with someone she knows rather than alone.

"All right. That's fine." Not really, but Alice keeps quiet.

His room wouldn't look much different than it had any other time she might have seen it. Still there were signs on his work scattered about, with pin cushions, ribbons, measuring tapes, and spools of thread being the main decor. Several manequins wearing hats that are in the process of being worked on, as well as one that has a dress for Alice.

It takes him a moment or two of digging through a door before he finally pulls out a tea pot and takes a seat across from the bed on a foot stool.

"We should be fine here, it's too warm for ice certainly."

Alice does a bit of the circle around the room to get herself re-acquainted with it. She remembers and she remembers well, as her memory seems to come back bit by bit. Each time she'll come here, she'll do the same thing, just to absorb all the strange visuals she possibly can -- Alice doesn't ask about the dress, for now.

About a minute later, Alice settles herself across from him, of course with good distance. Alice would like to mutter "for now", but she lets it be.

"Of course. I like it when it's warm. It's a bit more bearable."

While she circles the hatter simply sits there for a moment before getting up once more and rummaging through a few more drawers once again. It didn't do very much good to get one thing out and not what you actually need to make the tea. After a few moments he manages to pull out a tin that had been given to him as payment for a hat and placed in on top of one of the partially constructed tophats.

Finally he takes his seat again, this time seeming to settle in a little more. A little confused by the statement he figured that she just meant the weather or something since she was probably pretty chilly.

"Yes, well it's absolutely important to make sure it's not too cold or too hot or the glue won't won't hold probably while I work."

"Hatter?"

Alice is a little afraid to ask, wrapping herself further into his coat sheepishly. Her green eyes are the only thing point to the dress. She just cannot work up the nerve to ask.

"Is that-?"