asgardmeridiem | If the stars say that you couldn’t love me

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If the stars say that you couldn’t love me

Who: Rose (

idem )
What: Nightmares were never his strong point.
When: Night 453
Where: Rose's room
Rating: R.....to be safe?

The Doctor wakes up in a cold sweat, nearly falling out of bed as he reaches out for something he cant remember chasing after. There's a scream caught in his throat, a name he's forgotten, and it works it's way out of his lungs in a strangled whimper as he deflates, all his muscles aching from the fitful frightened sleep he's endured the last two days. He's never slept much even before the Time War, and after he went as long as he could without it. Here, without the TARDIS to soothe his mind, the nightmares felt even worse. He was alone. So alone.

Tentoo fumbled out of bed, one hand pressed to his face and the other groping for a path to the ensuite, where he washes his face without bothering to turn on the lights. He can't remember the dream, but that doesn't change the sickness in his chest it left, and he leans braced against the sink until his stomach stops trying to upend itself on him. The clock on the wall said 2:00 AM, he notices it as he walks out the door, already in the hall before he realizes where he's going. Rose. He needed to see her. This wasn't how things were supposed to be after they were left on the beach, he wasn't supposed to be separated from her, not this quickly. She had accepted him hadn't she? But that was a different her.

He hadn't bothered putting on shoes, and the ground is cool against his feet (he's so much more sensitive to temperature in this body) as he makes his way across the city, still in his striped pajamas. The stars aren't ones he recognizes, and he's seen nearly all of them, and he commits them to memory, red, blue, white dwarf, all trillions of years old and so far away.

The moment he enters Sigyn house he feels strange, but presses forward until he find's Rose's door, and knocks, resting his forearm on the door frame and his forehead against that.

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"With all the powers these gods have here, you'd think they'd make decent roads." It's a strained joke, and his face turns slightly red as embarrassment courses through him, suddenly self conscious. He scratches at one eye, before nodding, looking up at the grassy hill to one side of their path. "Not apple grass but we'll have to make due." He tries a smile again, wondering if all these memories he's sharing with her will help her understand when he finally had to tell her about this body's origin. "No coat either. I miss that coat. Rose Janis Joplin gave me that coat. Did I ever tell you that story?" He's certain he did but still, "It was one night before her concert and we just barely escaped capture...."

Rose takes his arm and leads him over to sit down on the ground. The grass is faintly dewy beneath her bare legs, and she wraps her jacket more tightly around her.

"Yeah, and you escape capture more narrowly each time you tell it." Her grin is wide and teasing, but she doesn't let go of his arm, instead holding his elbow gently and reassuringly. He's babbling now, but she's still concerned, seeing how white and distressed his face looked when he appeared at her door.

He lifts his free hand and traces the shape of the fingers resting on his arm fondly, stretching his long legs out and flopping back on his back. The dew seeps through his pajamas but he doesnt move, staring up at the stars. "I have a bit of the TARDIS, had it when I arrived. She's completely inert though... not a flicker of life." He looks over at her, once again struck by how young she is. How much more suffering she'd have to endure without him. "Suppose we're stuck lest I can whip up a space ship to go and reach those stars. Not sure we'd be allowed to go so easily though."

She can still feel the brush of his fingers on hers profoundly as she settles back down into the grass beside him. The stars spread out overhead, and for a second she could probably pretend that it's before. But that's useless. She can't help fight a war if her head is off fighting reality. Feeling his eyes on her, she looks over and meets them.

"You accustomed to breaking off bits of your ship?" Her voice is teasing, but the thought of the TARDIS sends a quiver of sad longing through her heart. She rolls over, just a degree, to face him better. "It's a nice thought, all the same."

"After Krop Tor I kept a bit in my pocket. Just in case." He admits, turning a little to face her as well. "Comforting too, knowing she was with me even when separated. Bit like a dummy or a stuffed bear I suppose. Linus's blanket. Though, it would get lost in there all the time, never could find it when I needed it." He's glad he rarely cleaned out his pockets now, but he probably could do with one less yoyo or rubber chicken, and one more transuniversal teleportation device. Even so, he laughs,

It's nice and nostalgic, having her laying next to him like this, on a hill with the wind tangling their hair, a new new new hill on a new new new world for the new new new Doctor and Rose. He takes a moment to stare a bit, taking in the pink and white pajamas she's wearing and her fantastic bedhead....that is half falling into her face as usual. He reaches out and tucks some of it behind her ear without thinking, though it's probably a moot point.

Rose leans into the contact, a similarly thoughtless motion for her, and closes her eyes for a moment. If the grass smelled like apples, if she could imagine his big coat spread out around his body...

"And it could really grow into another TARDIS?" She opens her eyes, meeting his once more with a slow smile. "I mean, if it was working properly?"

He smiles back, eyebrows pressing together as he traces the line of her jaw as he pulls his hand back. "It could take a very very very long time." He falls back again, tucking one arm under his head. "But yes. It'd be our baby TARDIS."

Rose feels herself tense up immediately at the touch, her breath freezing in her throat. Her eyes snap to his, but she makes no move to stop his fingers. Still, her voice is quieter when she speaks, a bit unsure.

"Our baby TARDIS," she repeats, liking the way it feels on her tongue, but untrusting of the words. So many things are uncertain right now, about her present and her future. Their future. "It sounds wonderful."

He looks back over at her immediately, a brighter look on his face as he smiles, that happy smile he normally reserved for her. "Yeah?"

Despite her uncertainties, she can't help matching his infectious smile, tilting her head until the wet grass brushes her cheek. Her heart is pounding from her ears to her damp toes.

"Yeah." To grow something that's their own, something truly shared... "It'd be brilliant, if it could work."

He sighs, rolling over onto his stomach and propping himself up on his forearms. "It could work. If we can get out of here, even just outside their sphere of influence and if I can figure out a way to shatterfy the plasma shell, and modify the dimensional stabilizer to hold a harmonic of 6.3..." Who had told him that. He certainly hadn't thought it up himself. "Certainly would be able to get her up and running within ou-your lifetime."

He scratches at his eye. "If you'd have me."

"Doctor..." She barely breathes out his name, her gaze on his face not breaking. If she was any less transfixed, she would pinch herself, for fear that she's imagining this entire midnight revelation.

"'Course I'd... have you." It's so quiet, so hopeful, it barely crosses the space between them.

There's a moment of complete stillness from The Doctor before he lets out a short, breathless laugh, and he puts all his weight on one arm, using the other to cup her cheek so that he can press his lips soft and hot against hers. It lasts barely a second before he pulls away just far enough that their lips brush, before shuffling closer and kissing her deep and long.

There was something to be said about being part human. One, his life was so short now that he couldn't risk hesitating, and two....Human hormones were far more powerful then a Time Lords.

Rose gasps into the first, unexpected kiss, head rushing so hard in anticipation that she doesn't hear his laugh. Her body is frozen, hands clutching at air, until - as if a rush of wind is passing through her - oxygen returns to her brain, and she finds the steadiness to reach out for him.

Klaxons are sounding deep in the back of her mind, buried behind the months of longing and lust suddenly pushing through. There was something she wanted to say, something she needed to clear up first, but-

The kiss grows deeper, and Rose tries to let it sweep those thoughts far out to sea. She reaches up, snaking a hand into that gorgeous hair. It doesn't matter when he's from, or what he's been through. This is him, her Doctor, and she loves him. Maybe, just maybe, he loves her too. Talk can certainly happen later, right?

Talk could definitely happen later. Later later. Right now, he was more interested in he fingers in his hair, the rush of relief when she doesnt push him away and instead draws him in. He sighs into her mouth, shifting so that he's leaning over her, worming his arm under her shoulder to pull her nearer, scraping his teeth over her bottom lip.

Heat rushes down into his stomach and lower, quicker then he anticipated. He had felt dizzy on that beach, and clung to her so tightly as if she'd vanish into thin air and he'd wake up from this dream if he didn't. Now he leans closer, his chest bumping against hers, his heart beating so quickly he's certain she can feel it.

Rose breathes a small hum of assent, her fingers tightening against his scalp and back. She had always imagined that snogging the Doctor would feel something like a nebula. Electricity, weightlessness, pinprick stars against her skin. But it's so human, so warm and soft. Human teeth, human tongue. Human hands.

She twines her arms tighter, bringing her fingers around his skinny neck to where his chest is pressed so close. The hammer of his heart pounds steady under her palm, almost in time with-

... His heart. His human heart. Rose lips pull apart from his, just barely, with a gasp of surprised breath.

Rose's hand on his chest makes his heart skip a beat, but the way she gasps and pulls away makes it stop short, and he jerks back in a panic. He's three feet away in seconds, fumbling back on his bum, face white as a sheet. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

Stupid stupid stupid. Bloody idiot, that's what he was.

He's off and away so quickly that Rose half sits up in surprise, still registering the revelation.

"No, no, it was fine, that was-" She takes a deep gulp of breath, bringing a finger to her lips, flushed and warm. "Your hearts. Your..." A hand gestures towards her chest, where her pajama top of wet with the grass' dew and wrinkled up beneath her jacket.

"You've only got one," she finished quietly.

Edited 2014-05-20 01:55 (UTC)

His adam's apple bobs, eyes flicking to the side. He could blame it on Asgard, coming here. If he had been granted powers he could have also become human..... But with as many versions of him here, that wouldn't fly. Instead he looks around, before throwing up his hand. "You remember this hand." He speaks quickly, his voice horse. "My fighting hand? The one that replaced the one I lost on Christmas Day." He meets her eyes, imploring. "This isn't that hand. "

Rose just stares at him, bewildered. The orange streetlights catch her tangled, dew-dropped hair like a somewhat ridiculous halo.

"... What?"

She doesn't get his point. In fact, his point sails somewhere out into left field, and a foul is called.

"Jack somehow got hold of the hand that fell to earth, still had all that residual regeneration energy in it, kept it...fresh. Then, there was...a situation. I got injured. Rose, I." He runs his fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck. "I nearly regenerated again, but I was able to channel that energy into the hand. Then someone, someone..." Who was it? This was important, and with a sudden sickness to his stomach, he realizes he's forgotten someone incredibly important. "A new body, half human. One heart. Who was..." He shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I've changed a bit, that's all, Rose. One heart...one life."

The what is already pushing back up in her throat as she processes the story. His distress is visible, palpable, but Rose can't bring herself to move. She works her jaw around the words, mind spinning to grasp what he's just told her.

"You made a new body out of your hand." Slow, quiet, as if she's just feeling out the notion. "So you're not..." (~~The original?~~ No, no, never, she can never think that, she knows that wouldn't be fair). "You're like, a clone, then? But how's that make you human?"

She leans forward on her knees in inquisition, trying to understand. Some piece of the story is missing. She can see that much in the Doctor's own frustration.

"Instantaneous biological Metacrisis. Not a clone." It comes out in a rush, like blood from the wound that word left in him. " All that energy pent up in my biological material but the mixture was too rich, like a room full of flammable gas, unless some is let out there can't be any reaction. Someone touched the hand, and as the regeneration energy came out, some of their human DNA mixed back in. Oxygen in a room. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. I am The Doctor. It's just my body that's changed. This has happened before Rose, Remember? I'm not a Slitheen, not a clone. It's me, it really is me."

Edited 2014-05-22 03:08 (UTC)

Rose is moving forwards in an instant, clumsy in the thick grass, unsure what she's actually moving for except to be there, be close. She reaches, her hand brushing his pajama sleeve, and then falling back.

"No, no, I didn't mean-" She shakes her head, trying to meet his eyes gently. "I know it's you, Doctor. Wasn't trying to say that you weren't, 's just the science that's a bit..." Her voice trails off as her hands finally come to seek out his, her fingers running up and down the familiar veins and knuckles, imagining for the first time a single, human pulse beating below them. A human heart pumping blood under the freckled skin.

"It's just your body," she repeats after him, quietly, in understanding. "You're still the same daft alien. ."

He can't help but wonder if this would be this easy if the other him was here, and he turns his hand so he can capture her fingers, then interlaced them with his own. "Same me." There's a wary hope, and he swallows. "I'm sorry for kissing you without permission."

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1% battery left, woohoo!

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