[OPEN] If I were someone else...

[comeonthensexy]

Who: The Eleventh Doctor, various castmates and CR and people aka you
What: Eleven is cursed! And very different.
When: Day 511 to 513
Where: All over
Rating: PG for now, will update as needed

((OOC: The actual action will be in threads below. If you want to do something feel free to contact me! AIM @ thetossedone, Tossino or just PM this journal. There will eventually be an open thread or two with scenarios for you to throw your muse at, I hope, but we'll see if I think of any today or not.

Or you could just make up your own scenario! I'll roll with it if I can, and poke you if I can't.))

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[comeonthensexy]

"You will be." He shakes his head. "We can't help what we feel and I know that very well. He'll understand." He smiles, a small, gentle thing. "You're probably right. I won't stop you. Not that I imagine you'd let me stop you."

[sheloves]

"Good," she says quietly. "And no, I wouldn't. If you love someone, lying to them is the worst thing you could do."

There's a long silence as she studies his face, searching it. Ril shakes her head slightly.

"I do not think I shall ever understand this 'pairing' thing, but I see it often in other cultures. My own in so different and I fear that it is something that is considered wrong. I saw how this thing went once before and it was not tolerated well."

[comeonthensexy]

"What it's considered as depends on who you ask. My people wouldn't really understand it, but they don't exactly understand love in general. We're capable of love - just look at me - but they don't usually ... think about it." He puts his chin in his hand, staring off into space. "But now ... I think I understand it. Loving more than one person at a time. And acting on that is only bad if you do it behind people's backs." He sends her a smile. "You wouldn't."

So there's nothing to worry about. She shouldn't worry, like this. It really doesn't fit her.

[sheloves]

"I would never do that, you're right," she says after a moment of silence. Ril doesn't like the initial hurt it will cause, she hates it enough that her eyes tear and she looks away, blinking. Hurting people she loves is the worst of all things she can do, because there is the risk of losing them.

She falls silent again, sipping her tea as she watches his face and the way his fingers curl against his chin until her tea is gone.

"I will never not love you," she finally says, rising. Her smile answers his as she gathers herself, her fingers tight around her teacup as if to keep herself in check. Gods knew what would happen if she let go. "Of that I am certain."

There's just a beat of silence, one where she closes her eyes. She can feel the residual heat from the tea seeping through her palms and hear the slight creak as her grip stresses the porcelain. Ril should go, yes. She should probably turn and go, but she can't seem to move, so she just stands there.

[comeonthensexy]

He looks back at her when she stands, his eyes just slightly widened in surprised confusion. Maybe he shouldn't be surprised. They ended up talking about something they haven't before, something that can be a little ... touchy, to say the least. Perhaps, if she stays for longer, something might go ... wrong. Whatever that would be.

Hard to know.

"And I you."

In different ways, probably, but all the same. For certain.

[sheloves]

"I think," Ril says, after a long silence, "that I am the worst of idiots." She closes her eyes and even with them closed, she knows how far away he is, exactly. Her voice is low. "If I stay, I will kiss you and that is--" There's a huff, a tiny one. "And if I go, I will be a mess when I speak with Eight, but that is a thing. It will happen. And I should--"

Stay. Go.

Both, none. Choices.

Her fingers touch her face.

[comeonthensexy]

"That is," he agrees, quietly, and lowers his head for a moment. "You should. Not kiss me, and ... go. Probably."

As much as he doesn't want her to. If she thinks she'll kiss him, she should go. Bad idea to stay.

This is a mess.

[sheloves]

"I'll go," she says quietly, her voice not at all firm. "I'll just--"

She turns and she goes, even though it feels like she's tearing herself into pieces. It almost fleeing, somewhere between a walk and a run. It's quite a disaster, really. All of it. Her fingers grip the edge of the door, though, just for a moment. Just the lightest pause where her shoulders tighten as if she's about to go back. Her breath is uneven, but she forces herself out onto the street.

There's a crash too as the mug shatters onto the pavement, the scrape of it as she gathers it up.

She has to go home now, to tell Eight, and she know she's not going to make it through that without falling to pieces. Like the mug.

[comeonthensexy]

The crash makes him flinch, and immediately he's on his feet ready to go pick it up but then. He hesitates. Which feel silly. If he goes there, maybe she'll kiss him. It's not impossible. And that would be ... not quite as planned.

"I can take care of that, you know," he says as he slowly shuffles around the counter. "Don't worry."

[sheloves]

"I...got what I could," she calls back, though her voice breaks. "It'll be fine. My...well, it's all my mess."

And it was, really. Her mess.