[Closed] The way that we live...

[key_illusion]

Who: ??? key_illusion  & Roxas faints 
What: Roxas has more problems bothering him, and ??? out for a stroll during the night.
When: Backdated to Day 54
Where: Gefion Park
Rating: PG

[Flower gardens are probably the last place anyone would expect some dark figure to be roaming through. Good thing it's night though, and the only thing giving his position away is the moonlight as he walks down one of the well-kept pathways. The only point ???'s there at all is to create a more detailed map in his database rather than rely on a piece of paper to help him navigate.

It's not like his room had become too stuffy and dull for him and that he's been lost in thought a few times...but the new, outside stimulus is nice.

However, even if he was calculating and reexamining files and memories during his walk, he wasn't completely off-guard. He would always be alert for any signs of other people approaching.]

Comments

[faints]

[ Which should make it easy for him to notice the blonde headed his way, several yards off down the path. Roxas' gaze is cast downward and his expression troubled. One would think he'd be happier about being released from the hospital but so far that's been anything but the case. The sole reason for that?

Sora.

The boy from his dreams; the one he became when asleep, reliving his experiences without any conscious will of his own. But now he's real, he's here in Asgard, just like Riku and the others he thought were all in his head. That alone was a realization enough to shake the foundations of what he'd known. The bits and pieces he'd been getting from Namine, from Riku and even Vanitas and ??? himself--they'd all be mangled together and thrown into his reality as soon as Sora visited him in the hospital.

"You were born from me."
"Your twilight Town isn't real."
"You're my other half, Roxas. You're my Nobody."

It's everything he's been dreading since Namine last spoke to him seriously--that there was something wrong with him, with what he was seeing and experiencing. Maybe he was never even meant to exist to begin with. Maybe Vanitas, as horrid as he was, was right. He was damaged or incomplete or--or something. But he's got so many memories...all his time in twilight Town. He can remember shops opening, spending time with his friends. He remembers school, having homework, signing up for the Struggle tournament...everything he should. Right?

There's a flicker of memory, of an island and a red-haired girl he's never seen before and Roxas winces, holding his temple. What's happening to him...? ]

[key_illusion]

[While it's relief to see Roxas out of the hospital (took him long enough to regenerate) and that it's only Roxas in the area, ??? stops in his tracks to study his original. However, he immediately identifies that look on his face, and there's an internal sigh to accompany the observation. Something was troubling him again, and he must have not taken his earlier advice. But since he did say that he'd help...

That pained look is out of place though, and ???'s annoyance switches to unease just as quickly. What memories was he remembering now?

He doesn't move towards Roxas immediately but turns on his bracelet instead to type out a message:]

If you're having headaches now, maybe you should check yourself into the hospital again.

I did say if you needed advice, I'd help you. So here I am.

[faints]

[ The message makes his bracelet blink and flash, and that's enough to catch his attention this late at night when it's dark out. The thought of looking at a luminescent screen when his head already hurts isn't very appealing but it's a message sent directly to him so he at least opens it--and does a double-take.

How did they...?? ]

Are you stalking me?

[key_illusion]

No, you're only walking in my path. [Or more like he's walking Roxas'. He's only an illusion in the end, so it may as well be his original's path more than his own.]

Look up.

[After sending that message, ??? starts walking towards Roxas before he continues typing.]

What happened since our last conversation? Something seems to be bothering you again.

[faints]

[ ...Oh, well that makes sense. It's also kind of weird, but then ??? is approaching from the opposite direction so it is possible it's just a weird...chance meeting. He doesn't type back when he gets close though, and just answers verbally. ]

It's nothing. My head just hurts a little.

[key_illusion]

[Ah, the frustrations of not being able to audibly voice opinions again.]

Don't lie. It's more than just that.

[He knows these things, Roxas. Haven't they gone over this before?]

[faints]

[ sdjkghsk stop lying about dreaming of him!! Roxas pretty much right away feels guilty about trying to hide that when he thinks ??? actually would know and sort of...tightens his hands into fists ]

I met him--Sora. He came to visit me when I was in the hospital.

[key_illusion]

[Nope, can't do that just yet~

But the mention of Sora...already has ???'s suspicions up that he's been blabbering about things he shouldn't again.]

Was it really so bad? I thought you wanted to meet him.

[faints]

It was a mistake. [ Which is about all he really wants to say on the subject but it's easy to tell how upsetting it is to him--his lips are already pursed and there's a lump in his throat. ]

[key_illusion]

Why? What happened?

[Just watching Roxas seems to tell him all he needs though, and the memories in his database are adding to his sympathy and irritation.]

[faints]

I don't want to talk about it.

[key_illusion]

So you want me to figure it out through the dreams instead?

[faints]

No, but I just--I'm sick of them! These memories, the dreams, all these people I should know but don't...

[key_illusion]

Then what do you want to do? I told you before-- just forget about them. Why are you even listening to everyone else if you'll just hurt in the end?

[faints]

.... [ Because it's not that easy for him--not when he knows people are keeping secrets, when Sora's told him everything--he just can't get it out of his head anymore. All he can manage is a whisper the next time he speaks ]

What if...they're right about me?

[key_illusion]

[They are right about you.

It's painful to hear it and the fact that he's thinking it too. He won't bring himself to type it though.]

Do you want them to be right?

[faints]

...I don't know. How could they be? I've spent my whole life in Twilight Town and what he--what Sora said is impossible. Isn't it?

[key_illusion]

How should I know? I don't know what he said, and you don't want to talk about it.

You can show me though.

[And he extends his hand towards Roxas, as if to initiate a handshake.]

[faints]

....Show you? [ He stares at the outstretched hand, confused. But he does reach out anyway on autopilot! ]

[key_illusion]

[Once Roxas takes his hand, ???'s grip tightens so that his original can't pull away. The telepathic line connects, and he's quick to inject his thoughts before a fuss could be made.]

Remember the scene. What did Sora say to you?

[faints]

[ Oh god what is this. There's a voice in his head just as clear as his own when he thinks and for a second he blanks on what's happening. But then he recalls exactly what happened and unconsciously tries to shift back from the memories themselves.

He's in the hospital room again; things are fuzzy but Sora's voice cuts through with startling clarity and the scene plays out just as he remembers it. But included with that is not only his feelings from then, but now--gut-wrenching anxiety, denial, immense sadness, fear; and doubt. Because as soon as the Sora in his memories says "you were born from me" Roxas' mind loops back and hastily whips through each and every memory Namine's implanted in him in order to deny what he's heard. And it keeps doing that, jumping around erratically. ]

[key_illusion]

[The jumps back and forth between his encounter with Sora and the fake memories are a bit sickening, but it's interesting to see that Roxas is still stuck on what he believes is the past. He's so familiar with the whole routine, though. The fear, the anxiety, and all the emotions ??? knows firsthand that will establish themselves in the future aren't at their highest potential...But, they're close.

Close enough that ??? decides he needs to clean up the mess. It's the doubt that's the key, the verge of acceptance, and a very real threat.

When the memories run through the loop again, he decides to interfere their course this time and focus Roxas' mind on the fake memories:]

Think of home. Your friends. Twilight Town. Ice cream on the clock tower. Summer vacation.

[faints]

[ He does so willingly and without any fight at all because it's those memories that he wants to hold onto. Those are the ones he wants to hold in his heart as real, the ones he wants to believe in. Searching for the photo thief, enjoying ice cream on the Tower and running around and facing off with Seifer's gang...

All his important memories, fake though they may be, take on a less erratic path and stick around longer. Bits and pieces play out and then skip, but it's nowhere near as chaotic as the frantic loop from before, and eventually it lingers on a day like any other; just them at the Usual Spot, laughing over one of Pence's obsessions and Heyner's temper. Olette's quiet but knowing and insistent glances to get Roxas to speak up...this is what he wants to be real. Moments like these.

Heyner...Pence...Olette... ]

[key_illusion]

[Good, good. Roxas is following along just the way he wants him to, and it gives ??? enough time to begin his...alterations on the encounter with Sora as Roxas reminisces. He doesn't need to watch those memories play, so he tunes Roxas out as he works quickly. It's a tricky procedure, one he's not quite sure will work, but he estimates Roxas' restart of the loop and quickly injects the new memories of Sora's explanation in time to obscure the real experience.

The feedback is the same, except Sora's voice isn't as clear as it should, soon fading at the end as Roxas grows more upset. Everything that would have caused the pain and confusion has been censored now, purposely faded like a bad memory. But he doesn't want Roxas' mind to linger and figure out what's missing, so he prompts a few more reminders to return him to the fake Twilight Town memories.]

The sunsets. Struggle tournament. Hayner, Pence, Olette. Remember them.

[faints]

[ It's a virtually seamless transition that leaves Roxas almost oblivious. Some part of him feels different, muddled...but then the prompting is back and he recalls the moment he and Hayner promised to win the tournament and take home the trophy together. The memories draw him in easily. ]