asgardmeridiem | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: (Elder) Alice and open
What: After the school fire, Alice more or less blacked out and slept for a few days, only to wander out while hallucinating. She finally wakes up.
When: Day 422
Where: All over Asgard
Warnings: May have potential triggers or content warning here for mental illness (i.e. disassociation and hallucinating), but nothing fairly extreme. I just want to make that pretty clear, since these things can be sensitive in nature.

The rest of it seems to be a blur.

Or rather, a big, big blotch of black ink on paper, from a fountain pin onto white paper. It spreads and spreads, until the blinding white is consumed by black. Darkness. She feels herself falling and falling -- but there is no rabbit hole to speak of, just a sinking feeling until she hits something. Hard.

She had fallen off the bed, not that she would have noticed. In an lucid dream, Alice had staggered out of doorway, down a flight of stairs that seemed too endless for her memory, as if she was going further and further into darkness again. The ground was rumbling and in her mind, she envisioned snakes and wolves, climbing up a hill made of doll heads and skulls, past grey visions of figures with no faces to spare. "LOOK AT ME." She hears them screaming.

But in her mind, Alice had kept her head low, her head ringing as she staggered forward, bare feet hitting the cobbled stone street, as Alice was remembering something... something terribly vague. Triangles... shards. Absolutely hysteric! Glass? A vision of her arms red, black and white. Blood red. The rage box? No, that was left in Wonderland.

"Worry for others can end up damaging you, Alice."

She can still glance back to the Dollhouse now and see them glancing through the windows waiting for safety. But had she not gone through a window? No, that couldn't be it. She could recall smoke and climbing through a window, but it seems to blur. She was seven in that memory, not nineteen. Alice finally glances down at her hands, sure that there were shards of glass in them, but.

There's nothing. No burns, no scratches, no cuts. Nothing.

"I've could have sworn-"

She was consumed by her visions, which is, sadly, not terribly unusual for her. She flexes her trembling hands, turning them front to back to inspect them. Not a trace on her pale skin, nothing more than the sickly parlor of her skin and veins. Was it just her imagination running loose? It may take a few more moments, but Alice is currently pulling herself back up off the ground, clutching her head as the headache subsides.

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"Are you sure, you said you weren't sleeping very well. Maybe you were sleep walking. Though this is a rather long way to walk when sleeping especially since things are rather shaky at the moment."

The hatter is clearly concerned and keeping an eye out to ensure that Alice is alright, and that there's nothing threatening coming in their direction. It was clear that there was something that Alice wasn't saying, which wasn't a very Alice like thing since she would normally speak her mind. Though she was quite stubborn about accepting help also despite that tendency.

She can be honest with him, even if she explains what exactly a hallucination was. She clutches both of her sides in attempt to regain some modesty. A nightgown is already fairly scandalous out on the streets, even with a good friend.

"It's a dream while you're awake," Is the best way she can describe it. Dreams are something that's not exactly there, much like a hallucination. She at least recalled waking up, falling out of bed, there's that.

Whatever bed that was. "Sometimes it happens. This wouldn't be the first time this has happened to me. I would wake up in the gaols a few times back in London."

She glances back at him after she notices the ground trembling at the moment. What the hell? "What's going on? Are the giants attacking again?"

Ah well after a moment of seeing her trying to be modest, Tarrant will offer his coat. He's make her a dress but even he doesn't carry that much fabric around on him constantly. And just as he was going to say something about Alice needing to have more pleasant dreams, she happened to ask about what was going on.

"Yes and making an awful mess, Hel almost completely iced and there is a rather large crack somewhere else too."

"Oh," She softly mutters to herself as he offers a coat to her. Tentatively, she accepts, she's small and she will likely swim in it. Alice merely ducks her head to offer a "thank you", something she rarely would even utter. She's not as prim and proper as she was as a child. What a good time to be out of Hel, even if Alice had some belongings there. What mattered was her picture, toy rabbit, and Koyuki were safe and sound in Loki's district, with North and the others.

"Well, I suppose I should count my blessings I'm no longer there. Are they attacking in Hel's district? Where else are they?"

Let him pull out a ribbon from the pocket, work on the belt, make an adjustment here and there, and viola it was somewhat makeshift but is was certain passable as something that could be worn out in public. At the very least she wouldn't have to hold it up or closed anymore and would be able to move a bit easier.

"There that's better."

Sorry were you saying something? He was a bit occupied for a moment there. Oh right, the ice in Hel.

"No, yes, ah well they're not attacking but it's certainly being hit."

At this rate, after feeling woozy, waking up from a hallucination in the middle of the road, Alice would be very content burrowing herself in his jacket. It's very warm and it smells exactly like earl grey tea leaves. Alice is always grateful for the small gestures, but...

"Well, it's better than fire," She responds, not even realizing what had happened prior to the giants' new attacks on Asgard. "I think I will take ice over fire any given day."

"So would I, though it would be good to not have to deal with either. But first we have to get Alice something to wear. I could make something."

After all he did have enough materials back in his room, and it was one of the few areas to not be troubled by cracks, ice, or fire at the moment. It was certain the best place to be and there were others bringing people there, so it certainly wouldn't hurt for Alice to visit.

"Though we could go back the way Alice came too."

It's a very kind gesture, something she didn't quite expect, especially from Hatter of all people. It has her a little flustered, ducking her head into her hands. For all the confusion and frustration, she has to suck in a breath of air as she feels something in the corner of her eyes. She won't cry, she can stop it. She shakes her head gently, letting her dark hair fall into her face.

"Oh, Hatter! You're so kind and I'm afraid I have yet to deserve it from you!" She feels a little guilty now, especially after the train. "I am afraid I don't know where I came from."

Oops, did he say something that he shouldn't have. Seeing her expression he reaches a hand out for a moment, but then pulls it back a little keeping from brushing her cheek or touching her.

"That should make things easier then, since Alice won't have to decide. And of course you have, Alice came back to us that's absolutely enough and I would do anything."

After a moment he will gently take her hand and start to guide her somewhere safer than out in the middle of everything.

He may not realize it, but he's getting away with something that normally Alice would never, never allow.

For all of her hatred of touch, she doesn't violently retaliate, not like with Snape and Maglor a few days ago. But it isn't met without a bit of tension from Alice. She cringes, even if a very rational part of her knows he's not going to harm her.

Not this Hatter, not like the Hatter before who tore his own domain up and enslaving the children in Skool. She breathes, she holds her breath, and finally when Alice shrugs it off after battling a mass wave of confusion and fright, she releases her breath. She'll allow it, she really has no choice. After minutes of wracking in her brain where she could have came from, she is drawing a blank, "All right."

Do anything? Alice doesn't say anything beyond that aside from only quietly nodding her head.

Feeling that small cringe and as soon as Alice says something, Tarrant seems content to allow her hand to return to her side. If she could speak then certainly she didn't need him to tell her were to go at that moment, so it would certainly be up to her. Though he assumes that the all right means that she'll go to Heimdall to get some proper clothes and something to warm up before doing anything else.

Alice was certainly worrying him though. She seemed quite like she wasn't herself. "Something happened."

It wasn't a question so much as a statement. Something had happened to Alice and the hatter hadn't been there to help her, even after he had promised Alice that he would. "But you're alright, right?"

He is right, something has happened. Alice would say she isn't sure what it is, but that would be far from the truth. She braves it, just as she would each time, staying close to him as it would be on her terms. She's not sure anymore, but the first step would be to narrow down the problem and find out what caused it.

If anything ever cooperated with her and knowing her luck, it would be arduous. Alice convinces herself she has to put on a brave face, nodding as she does just to assure him the best way she can. She's used to it.

Or so she tells herself. "There's no harm done." Alice tries to assure him gently.

Or so she thinks. There's always a doubt.

"I will be fine, Hatter." It's not him, anyway. Alice just doesn't like being touched.

"Are you sure, because if there was then I could help."

After all he had been gifted with damage drain which had come in handy a few times when he accidentally pinned something the wrong way. It wasn't that he doubted Alice's strength, but that he wanted to do absolutely what he could for her.

If she knew and if it was a better day for Alice, it would have made her a little flustered. She frowns deeply, choking back a sniffle, wanting so badly to just cry at the offer. It's so very kind and Alice feels she's so very undeserving.

She braves it, putting on her brave face. Alice begins to fan at herself, as if that can make her fight back tears. It will pass. "No, no," He'll think of her- oh, hell. Alice forgot for the slightest moment who she was in the company with, "I don't think the mind can be mended that way."

"Ah, well maybe not, but I don't think there's anything that can other than the mind. But Alice did tell me a secret once when I asked about going mad."

Tarrant had gradually come to understand a few of the differences between the Alices, but to him they were still all very much Alice and as such still very important people.

"She said all the best people are."

They are similar but very different. This one, however, feared for her mind constantly, her own well being. What would she do if it became broken beyond recognition? She sniffs, she's starting to feel the light touch of tears down her cheeks. The coat is securely wrapped around her body as Alice very carefully, very tentatively allows her head to just... softly thump against him. She hates hugs, but at the moment, Alice won't be punching someone's face in over it.

"oop."

Well perhaps that wasn't what he should have said at all. He wasn't entirely sure as to what to do since Alice had made it apparent that she didn't care for being grabbed. Tarrant wanted to comfort her but he also ensured that she wouldn't feel trapped either, placing a hand carefully over hers as the other brushes her arm. Lowering his head a little so that his chin lightly touched the top of her head, he closed his eyes as their color started to change slightly. It was painful to see Alice like this, and Tarrant would certainly protect this Alice just as he would any.

"I have a fairy by my side
Which says I must not sleep,
When once in pain I loudly cried
It said "You must not weep"
If, full of mirth, I smile and grin,
It says "You must not laugh"
When once I wished to drink some gin
It said "You must not quaff".

When once a meal I wished to taste
It said "You must not bite"
When to the wars I went in haste
It said "You must not fight".

"What may I do?" at length I cried,
Tired of the painful task.
The fairy quietly replied,
And said "You must not ask".

Moral: "You mustn't.""

"I'm sorry," She manages to muster, trying to choke back a sob. She hates touch, absolutely loathes it. Yet Hatter, she feels, will be the only person to understand how she really feels. She isn't mad, not mad at all. Her mind wanders to Pyro's reassurance and even Will's comments to her how she shouldn't take on burdens. But Alice is a tired soul, very tired of these things happening to her. While she doesn't want an outright hug, it feels better, it helps.

"I want to go home! And sometimes I confess it's not Oxford! I wish I could go back to Wonderland, but-"

Like the moral was, she mustn't. Sometimes it's too strong, she just wants to turn inward to herself for the solutions. She has to be strong. "I am me, yes? I am still Alice, aren't I? I'll still be the same?"

"Absolutely. You are unequivocally, undoubtedly, conclusively, Alice. There's no way for you to be anyone but Alice."

No way for her to be someone else, something else, not she couldn't be that broken. Not Alice. She was stronger and muchier than anyone, so if anyone would surely stay themselves it was her.

"I'd know Alice anywhere, and you're Alice."

Hatter take a half step back so that he can look at her face, she was dreadfully upset and they would have to fix that. After all tea was no good if you were crying, tears are far too salty.

Eventually, Alice can wipe away her tears, feeling better, much more... whole. She had fought so hard to feel more herself again, to preserve her mind. Why should it be any different? A little flustered, but all the same, Alice is wiping her face dry, dark hair out of her face. She nods vigorously in agreement.

Of course she is. She'll be stable again.

"Oh, thank you, Hatter! You're a good friend!"

Good. Alice had found her muchness again This was certainly something that the hatter preferred to tears. Though as there's more movement with the ice continuing in the distance and several more people show up to investigate the crevaces not from from where they stood perhaps it was better for them to move somewhere else for the moment.

Though Tarrant smiles softly, "Alice has done much more."

She had pieced him together again had she not.

She would argue she has done nothing at all; although from what he had said to her, the vorpal blade, the Jabberwocky, and the white queen sound similar to what she had done in her Wonderland. Not quite. Alice offers a soft smile, knowing that she can't stay out here in the open for much longer. She'll go with him, because Hatter still has Alice's absolute trust.

She smiles softly back at him, nodding to herself, "Good." Is the only thing she can muster, shyly, as Alice is overwhelmed with an urge to offer a small pat on his hand. It's the closest she'll get to a hug.

"Anything for a friend."

"Yes, yes of course."

So each of them would do anything for the other apparently. Perhaps just being close helped each of them to hold themselves together and helped to mend the damage that had been done just a little. Even if neither of them were able to completely mend the wounds left by the past.

Which is why the hatter rarely reflected on what had already happened and continued to look to the present and the days to come. And currently was leading Alice back towards Heimdall.

"But before we do anything we must get Alice something to wear."

It wouldn't take him long to make something, and then they could figure out what they needed to do with what was happening.

Alice starts to open her mouth to protest. She would like to let him know that's completely unneeded; if she can somehow get back to Loki's district and back to her limited clothing. Yet ever since she left Hel, she feels cheated out of her belongings and her clothes.

She ducks her head, rather bashfully, rubbing the back of her neck as sign of her reluctance. "But Hatter-"

If she says now that it's not needed, her fear is that he'll be a little hurt, just like the last time. Obviously Hatter will have to meet the others in Asgard, "I- Of course. I suppose that's for the better, being in a nightgown is terribly indecent."

Her luck is terrible. She'll follow him back to Heimdall's district making a point to envelop herself in her jacket, covering part of her face -- her excuse it's cold.

"Yes, and my coat doesn't really fit Alice at all."

Cold, well then it was a good thing that it was a coat that he was able to give her and all the more reason to get something else to wear. After all being properly dressed would certain be warmer than running around in a nightgown under a coat. Though he would gladly go to Hel to get her clothes and belongings from there if she had simply asked.

He had gotten a rough idea of her measurements from their conversations and the times that he had seen Alice. And tying the belt around the coat made it a bit more concrete. Luckily there was one that he had already started at one point while waiting for someone to want a hat. So it wouldn't take him long at all to have something for her.

"And we'll have a warm cup of tea since it's cold."