asgardmeridiem | It's the calm before the storm [Closed]

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It's the calm before the storm [Closed]

Who: Kaworu Nagisa and Shinji Ikari
What: Their first meeting since Shinji arrived
When: During the afternoon
Where: Theater
Rating: B for bittersweet, C for cute, H for heartbreak and S for sadness

[ Since he came back from Svartalfaheim (aka Dwarf-land), Kaworu still hasn't visited the Theater. He no longer works there, but it's still a place he is very fond of since he can listen to music and play.

It’s quite calming, he thinks, and it takes his mind off his worries regarding the people who left to save the God. However, Kaworu believes it’ll be alright. Because he must believe in them. Of course he can’t help but to worry, but he will wait for their return and meanwhile he will play.

After renting a room with a piano, Kaworu leaves the door open (he always does, just in case anyone wishes to come and play with him) and starts playing. A soft sort of tune, that can soon be recognized at Beethoven’s 9th Symphony "Ode to Joy". ]

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[ Speechless. The younger of the two was not able to wrap his head around this. (yet.)

No. No, he wasn't much. He wasn't perfect. He wasn't worthy. Kaworu was. Kaworu should have lived.

And yet. He stayed put. He doesn't get up from their spot. Not sure where else to look, Shinji lowers his gaze, again, and wrapped his arms around himself; not crying, but he shuddered.

He was doing it again. Emotionally curling into himself when kindness was being shown to him; when a gentle hand tried to reach out to him. He said to himself that maybe he could like himself, someday, but this...

Kaworu's kindness scared him, a little. After what happened, there is some reason to being afraid. ]

[ Kaworu watched the other quietly, before his hand reaches for Shinji's head. He is gently, fingers carefully touching the dark hair and body approaching - not too sudden, Kaworu makes sure Shinji understands the angel is getting closer. ]

Shinji-kun, I know it may be hard, but it will be alright.

Whenever you wish to tell me anything, I will listen. Whenever you are lonely, you can reach me Whenever you need to be reminded how much you are loved, I will tell you.

There is nothing you can say or do to lose my love. Nothing will exhaust me.

[ 'It will be alright.'

Because Kaworu was here...?

A sharp intake of breath; almost as if Shinji had forgotten how to breath for a split-second. He begins to feel the moisture and stinging sensation in his eyes again, so he closes them for a moment. He sure doesn't trust himself being able to speak, with how tight his throat felt, at the moment.

Shinji goes from being a bundle of tense to slumping, a bit, when he feels those fingers in his hair. If anything, the brunet might or might not have closed their distance.

Ah. Kaworu, you are too much.

Is a 'Thank you' appropriate here? ...He was not sure. But he felt closing the distance was? This was confusing. All of it. But. He wasn't by himself. ]

[ Kaworu smiles as Shinji allows more proximity between them. His hand still strokes the other's hair, gently and softly. ]

Shinji-kun. Are you hungry? If you'd like to eat something, I know a good place.

[ And those blue eyes opened to blink for a moment at the question. Though Shinji hasn't eaten at all, so far, he didn't feel quite hungry. A lot of things on his mind and his appetite was last on the list. So he simply forgot until he was asked.

Not sure how to answer, he just asks, ]

Is that really alright with you? [It wasn't like he had money, at the moment. And wasn't he interrupting Kaworu's playing on the piano? He obviously did when he came in here, after all...]

It is. It'll be fun to eat together, food tastes better that way, doesn't it? [ he smiles wider ]

[ After recalling that one time Misato had everyone come by to their place, he couldn't help but wonder about that, Kaworu. It just felt a bit noisy for Shinji even though it wasn't unwelcoming, by any means.

But he wasn't going to say anything. Instead, he makes some distance between them again, moving away in case the angel would like to move.

He didn't say no, after all. ]

I've... heard that before.

[ kaworu does move, so he can get up, but his hand reaches out for the pilot, offering it in case he wanted to hold it. ]

I know a nice place. We can go there.

[ Even though they held hands all the while when they've been here, Shinji still started intently and almost looked like he had to think about it.

But. He takes that hand into his own when he got up, too. It still served as a friendly reminder that Kaworu Nagisa was really alive. And as unsure as he is about a lot of things right now, Shinji hoped it stayed that way for as long as he was going to be here. Kaworu deserved that. ]

...

Thank you. [ For this? For letting him talk to you, again? For offering to be there for him? He wasn't sure, himself. Open-ended, as always with Shinji.]

[ Kaworu's hand squeezes Shinji's sweetly and soon he begins walking, waiting for the boy to follow along.

He hasn't shared a meal with Shinji, has he? That's why he is incredibly happy about it, happy that he can finally show Shinji and tell him all he never had the chance of doing. ]

Shinji-kun, have you tasted cake before? [ it's a strange question for a person who knows what cake is, but Kaworu didn't know up until he arrived in Asgard ]

[Shinji easily began to walk side by side with the angel. Not quite sure if he wants to let go, his grip is gentle in case Kaworu wanted to let go when they began to walk.

Indeed, Kaworu's question was odd. So he will just blink for a moment. His childhood was average, mostly..., but at least Shinji knew what cake was and tasted it.

'Everyone has tasted cake at least once, before... Don't they?' he wondered, but kept to himself. ]

...Yes? I don't dislike it, or anything?

[ he won't let go of the hand unless Shinji wants him to.

But at the answer, he smiles brightly again ]

I have found cheesecake to be very good. Maybe we can have some, after?

[ It wasn't like he disliked sweets. He just wasn't as indulgent as other people might be about it. ~~If it ever came to sweets, Allen could have Shinji's share, though.~~

So. Shinji nods, looking forward as they walked. There wasn't a tight grip; Shinji wasn't sure he wanted to push his boundary and comfort zone any further. It wasn't too loose; just enough to remind himself that he is not by himself.

Wait a minute.

'Found'? Shinji blinks for a second, and then looked to Kaworu, again.

...? ]

Have you had cake before you came here, Kaworu-kun?

No, never. [ Kaworu doesn't mind it though. Before they walk out of the theater, though, the angel pays for the rented room. ]

I learned about it in Asgard.

The first pastry I tried was scones and then I just tried different ones. They taste very good. [ Kaworu actually loves sugar. ]

[~~And he will get the pleasure of noticing that sweeth tooth, soon, Kaworu. hah.~~

Not even when he was still alive? Really?

.....

Shinji wasn't sure if he should be in awe or feel bad. Perhaps maybe both? And then came that sobering reminder that slowed down his wondering. A reminder that Kaworu is an angel. Of course that made just a little sense, now. ...A little. ~~(But there was time for Shinji to probably understand and know some on what are angels and what they're about, as long as the two of them were here, now? Or just get more confused.)~~ ]

I see. [ And Shinji would know. A recent encounter he had resulted in sharing a a scone or two. So he won't... disagree on that.

But...]

...That's not the only thing you learned about while being here, though? [ Almost a year sure was a long time, after all. ]

[ Kaworu glances at Shinji, but he stills offers him a bright smile. ]

I have learned a lot. About food and about drinks. I learned how to cook a bit and bake cakes. I learned how to take care of animals too. [ it's fond, his smile ]

I have two cats I'm taking care of, Asariel and Zadkiel.

[ To Shinji, that seemed like a lot of things Kaworu didn't get to experience when he was still alive. Those were such simple things that Shinji sometimes took for granted and yet...

There was a slightly disheartened look on Shinji's face. If only he had met Kaworu earlier at some point, maybe he could have shown him. Shinji wouldn't have been so lonely, either. If only they had more time.

But. This was probably a sign that fate thought that it was for the best, that things happened the way it did.]

[ It seemed like Shinji was quick to latch onto a slight change in topics. His frown was gone in exchange for a more curious-looking expression at the mention of pets. ]

Cats? [ Growing up, Shinji never had a pet. The only animal Shinji ever recalled remotely looking after was Pen Pen; if we were able to consider the penguin a "pet", that is. (It wasn't like that bird needed much looking after, anyway. Almost more of a housemate than a pet.) So he was... intrigued? curious? ]

Um. What are they like?

Asariel loves people. He is still young and likes to be petted a lot. Zadkiel doesn't like people, is often jealous of everyone and everything that approaches me, even if he doesn't really like me most of the time. [ it's a soft smile. Kaworu loves his cats. Even if one of them is the spawn of Satan. ]

They sleep in my bed.

[ Kaworu looks at Shinji ] You never had a pet, Shinji-kun?

[ Shinji couldn't help but listen intently, even if he personally had little experience with cats. It sounded like Kaworu enjoyed it. Having them.

He shakes his head when he was asked. No. No pets. Not even when he was growing up and living with his teacher.]

As far as living with one goes, Misato-san had a penguin, Pen Pen, but he didn't need a lot of looking after and was almost another housemate than a pet. [ Pen Pen was... uh... special. ]

...Do you like it? Having them? [ Being responsible for something/someone else that might or might not like you. Isn't that what having a pet is, to some extent? ]

[ Kaworu will ask about Pen-Pen, but first to answer the question ]

I do. They keep me company when I'm alone, and they seem to know when I need them near. It's a mutual situation - they care for me in their own way and I care for them. [ even Zadkiel. Who... cares for Kaworu by not scratching him.

Kaworu walks through the streets of Asgard, still holding Shinji's hand. It felt good, to be like this. A regular conversation. ]

You lived with Captain Misato and the second child, right? [ aha, he remembers that he shouldn't call her that - ] Asuka-san.

Did you like it, to live with them?

[If they were to hold hands all the way to their destination, Shinji would be... fine with that, actually. And the pilot almost wondered if he wanted to meet those felines. (Almost. Shinji never had the best of luck with felines.) They seem to make Kaworu happy, after all.

If it weren't for the hands, Shinji would have stopped in his track for a moment at that question. That...]

['They care for me in their own way and I care for them.'

Though Kaworu had meant something entirely different, that still left Shinji in thought. He looked melancholy for a moment.

Misato... Asuka...

Even though the apartment got noisy (mostly by Asuka) at times, and even though Misato was unbearable sometimes, and though there were times Shinji didn't want to go back (like the night he spent with Kaworu, but that time there were other reasons for that.) Shinji...

Ah.

Shinji no longer had a need to tell anyone "I am home.". Not here. Was that why he still felt a sense of missing something? In his heart, that was still a home, somehow? (...Oh well. He was fine by himself, like he told Misato in the very beginning.)

So. After some thinking. He will nod.]

I didn't dislike it. [it was a safe enough answer? It was the truth, after all.]

Do you want to return to them, Shinji-kun?

[ It's asked softly, allowing Shinji to think of the answer all he wishes to because he knows the other might not know what to answer or even want to answer it. ]

[ No one would probably be there to say "Welcome home", now.

Misato had been a little different since Kaji's death. ~~Asuka was in comatose, in an infirmary.~~ And Shinji (at this moment and to his own knowledge, at least.) didn't know where Asuka was.

His friends from school were no longer around. He wasn't sure if he was able to face Ayanami, at this moment, either.

Though there might still a home there, it wasn't going to be quite the same, now.

Would it even make a difference? Returning? So it wasn't like Shinji didn't want to, it's just...]

I don't know if it'd make a difference, whether I wanted to or not. [and he felt a little awful saying that. Kaworu was the one who had nothing to return to (except to being dead.), after all.]

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